A Family Broken Apart
by Another Writer Who Loves
Summary: Sam ran away from home when he was seventeen, years passed with no contact and slowly the Winchesters lost all hope of ever seeing their youngest ever again. Until one day Dean is kidnapped by a man with black eyes only to be rescued by his brother.
1. Chapter 1

Dean let out a small breath, eyes closing tightly shut as his head throbbed. He tried to bring his arm up to rub at the back of his head but his eyes immediately opened when he realized that he couldn't bring his arms up.

Dean jostled forward, making the chair he was sitting in scoot forward slightly, wood scraping against the ground. He felt a bit of panic start to well inside of him when he finally saw that his arms were tied tightly to his sides with rope.

Slowly memories started to come back to him in pieces. He had finished his work at the shop and had started to walk home. It was a warm day with nice weather so he hadn't driven to work, choosing to walk instead. He had been debating to either buy some food or make something at home when pain erupted from behind him and he fell to the ground.

Someone had knocked him out, dragged him, he quickly glanced around, gritting his teeth when the motion made his vision spin for a moment, and he had been taken somewhere he had no idea where. They were in a warehouse somewhere and Dean couldn't see any familiar signs or hints of where it was.

It didn't make sense, especially not when he could still feel his wallet in his side pocket. If it was a mugging then all they would've done was take his belongings before leaving him in an alleyway or something. If they wanted to kill him they would've done it back then as well, when he was helpless and unconscious.

Which only meant one thing, they wanted to hurt him. They were going to kill him and make it hurt and make him scream before they finished it and they had wanted to do it somewhere away from other people.

A part of him knew and accepted that fate, another part of him was telling him that he had watched too many horror movies and needed to keep his head on straight to try to think of a way to get out of here.

A third part of him told him that his parents weren't going to be able to handle this, losing the only son they had left. They barely managed to hold together with Sams disappearance years ago, looking towards Dean for the knowledge that at least they still had one son and now, they were going to lose him too.

God he hoped that they were going to be okay. If he was religious he would send up a prayer to heaven but he knew that there was no one listening there. His thoughts went to his parents and he felt his chest tighten a bit more at the thought of them learning about his death.

His mind told him to stop being so pessimistic, he wasn't dead yet and he could still have a chance to get out of it if he just focused.

Before he could think or try to figure things out, a small bit of movement caught the corner of his eyes and he turned to his left to see someone standing there, leaning against a crate of wooden boxes, staring at him.

Most likely they had been watching him the entire time, watching him have his mental freak out, so that meant they knew that he had been awake and was waiting for him to realize that they were there.

Dean tried not to think about what that was going to mean for him as he straightened up as best as he could, staring at the man in a flower as best as he could.

The man didn't seem bother or the slightest intimidated by Deans attempts, just staring at him not moving, seemingly not in any hurry to do a single thing.

Dean swallowed hard, noting how dry his throat was, and breathed in and out slowly, trying to match the man's stare, trying to get a hint of what he was thinking or what he was going to do.

The man seemed content to just stare at him, occasionally his eyes flickered up to the high level windows but then they went back to Dean, it didn't even seem like he blinked but Dean was sure that was just a trick of the light.

And Dean knew that it was another trick of light and darkness that made it look like the man had black eyes, his vision was playing with him and he couldn't focus completely because of the concussion he most likely had from the blow to the back of the head.

At some point Dean felt his patience start to thin more and more and he couldn't hold himself back anymore. "Alright listen, we can talk this out."

The man didn't move or even register that Dean had spoken, just staring at him.

"I got money and I'm sure my parents can add to that, you can have it. Or you can have whatever the hell you want." Dean continued, not liking that the man didn't seem to be listening to him, his eyes still looking towards the windows more. "We can talk this out like men, figure things out, work them out."

He might as well be talking to the wall, in fact he might get more from a wall as the paint dried on it. The man seemed to be made of stone from how little he moved, other than his not black eyes looking towards the window.

After what felt like an eternity the man finally moved, pushing off of the crates and straightening up a bit more. Dean was immediately on alert, willing himself not to even blink as the man slowly moved towards him. Before he could jerk back away from him the man reached him and reached out towards him, gripping at his chin to wrap a handkerchief around his mouth, stuffing it between his teeth and tying it behind his head.

Once he was muzzled enough the man leaned back and this time Dean couldn't ignore it or brush it off, the man's eyes were completely black, from pupil to sclera. They seemed like bottomless pits staring down at him and Dean fought the urge to shiver at them.

The man smirked at the bit of fear on Deans face and reached out to grip at his chin again, lip curling slightly over his teeth, barring them at him. He tightened his grip on Deans chin for a moment before he seemingly forced himself to let him go, stepping back and just staring at him before turning towards what Dean thought was the front of the warehouse.

Before Dean could try to think of what was happening he heard it, a whisper of the door being open and closed and footsteps on the ground, someone was coming in and trying to be discreet about it.

The man in front of Dean gave another smirk, despite the blackness covering his eyes completely it almost seemed like they were shining, and with that he moved away, towards the side of the incoming footsteps but towards it nonetheless.

There were a few seconds of silence that Dean swore his rapidly beating heart was audible despite everything when he heard the two come together.

From the sound of punches and groans from the both of them they were fighting and almost like they were fighting for their lives. He could hear the crates around them being jostled as the two were either slammed or pushed into them.

Dean jerked and tried to get out of his bindings, moving his arms and chest as much as he can to try to get them to budge. He could hear the man and whoever had come in rustling behind him, it sounded like they were fighting one another.

He tried not to think about what was happening, trying to focus on getting free when he heard the unmistakable sound of a knife being stabbed into someone. He heard a choked off almost scream and strangely enough the smell of sulfur filled the air for a moment. He heard a strange crackling sound before he the body fell to the ground.

He could hear someone breathing heavily and coming closer to him. He swallowed hard when the man reached out and, surprisingly, gently pulled the handkerchief out of his mouth and tugged it off of his neck.

The man walked around him to get to the front of him, kneeling down so that they were eye level enough to look at each other.

Whatever Dean was about to say fell away and all the breath in his body left in one single breath. His heart seemingly stopped for a moment before it start to pound harder and faster.

Older, filled with stress and premature hints to wrinkles, bags under his eyes, in need of a shave, too long hair that seemed to frame his thin face that fit him in a strange way.

It was his little brother Sam.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**138/365**

**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	2. Chapter 2

Before Sam untied him completely he dug into his pocket and pulled out a flask. Opening it he lifted the flask to Deans lips and poured some into his mouth.

Dean felt like he was in shock from everything that was happening, not even thinking against swallowing whatever his brother was offering to him, in fact he looked forward and needed some sort of alcohol to deal with all of this and was only mildly disappointed when all he tasted was water.

Sam nodded, apparently content with whatever the water was, and finally untied Dean completely, reaching out to grasp at his shoulder.

"You okay Dean?" he asked and fuck Dean either didn't remember what his little brothers voice sounded like, and that was a punch in the gut, or it had gotten even deeper over the years.

Dean couldn't bring himself to say a single word or make a single sound, letting Sam grasp his arm and bring him up. His eyes did move however and he realized that his brother was actually taller than him by more than a few inches.

He felt like he couldn't breathe, he couldn't connect the person in front of him with the image he's had of his little brother all these years. Logically he always knew that his brother was going to change and look different but...this different?

He felt his legs shake and Sam reached out to grasp at him a bit better, moving him so that he could sit on a box instead of back onto the chair.

"Alright just...breathe. Keep breathing." Sam told him, sounding a bit uncertain, patting Dean's arm. "Do you...do you need a paper bag?"

Dean thought back to the years of Sam being missing. He thought back to those sleepless nights and how hard their parents were trying to stay strong. He remembered hearing their mom crying and their dad comforting her through his own tears. He remembered being sick out of worry and out of his mind as he hoped for at the very least a phone call to let them know that Sam was alive and alright.

He remembered how many times they'd look to him, to have the simple knowledge that one of their sons was still there. One of their sons was still alive and was just within hands reach. He stayed with them for a while before he moved out from their house into an apartment of his own, he took the teasing from his coworkers, his parents needed to be able to make sure that he was okay.

Thinking back to all of that, remembering the pain and the loss their parents had went through, recalling every single last moment of the last seven years, he then looked at Sam straight in the eyes.

Brought his arm back and punched his brother in the face as hard as he could.

Sam stumbled back but didn't fall to the ground like Dean had kinda hoped he would. He let go of his arm and brought his hand up to gently touch his face.

"Okay." Sam said slowly, straightening up and feeling his face to make sure that everything was in place. "Alright, I deserved that."

"You're damn right you deserved that." Dean said, his hands shaking. Slowly everything inside of him turned to anger and it was coursing through him with a rush that almost scared him.

Dean came forward and grabbed at Sams shirt, pulling him towards him. His brother didn't do anything to stop him, letting him move him as he wanted.

"Where. The. Hell. Have. You. Been. Sam." Dean said through gritted teeth. "It's been years. It's been seven years. You've been gone for seven years and now? Now you decide come back?"

"Didn't really decide to, you were being held hostage." Sam said, his eyes going over Dean's shoulder.

Dean did the same, stopping when he saw the body of the man that had grabbed him on the ground, a small circle of blood growing under him.

"Did...you killed him." Dean said, his hand sliding off of Sams shirt. "You killed him."

"He was holding you hostage." Sam repeated. "If I hadn't killed him he was going to kill me. That was the whole point."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean asked, starting to reach his limitation faster and faster. "Sam what the hell is going on?"

Sam took a deep breath, going to sit down on the warehouse boxes, rubbing at his face where Dean had punched him. "It's a long story." he said, his voice suddenly sounding very tired. He leaned back and let his hand drift over his face.

Dean stared at his brother and then back at the dead body. Despite the fact that the man knocked him out and dragged him out here, he was still a man and his brother had killed him. But on the other hand he had killed him maybe because of the fact that he had tried to hurt Dean.

He was caught between the thin line of complete and utter fear of his brother and pride at the same time. It was screwed up but at the same time he felt just a bit loved.

"Where the hell have you been Sam?" Dean asked quietly, tearing his eyes away from the body.

"All over, I haven't really been staying in one place, except sometimes a place in South Dakota." Sam told him. He looked up and met Deans gaze. "I'm sorry. For all of this."

With that Sam started to talk and tell Dean about something completely and utterly stupid and foolish. A whole exposition of excuses and lies and maybe even hallucinations. Maybe his brother was on drugs and that's why he ran away from home and was now telling him about all these things.

"That man was a demon." Sam continued, looking at the man behind them. "You usually can't tell when someone's possessed by a demon until their eyes turn black."

At that Dean paused, remembering the trick of the lights, that made the man look like he had completely black eyes. He shook his head, it was either a trick of the light or it was drugs. There had to be a logical explanation to this.

"You don't believe me, and I don't blame you, it's a hard thing to understand and I've been living it for the past seven years." Sam said quietly. "Sometimes I don't even believe it. But it's the truth." he took a deep breath. "It's all true and there are monsters out there."

Dean shook his head, closing his eyes and turning away from his brother. "You need help Sam." he told him. "You need a lot of help."

He could hear Sam laugh softly at that and turned back to his brother, feeling just as helpless as he had the night they realized Sam was gone. Sam was looking up at him and despite the growing beard, the long hair, the stress lines and everything else on his face, he looked so much like the little brother Dean knew and loved and missed so much that it felt like someone had just ripped his heart out of his chest, that he hesitated and felt his chest tighten.

All he had wanted for these past seven years was to know that his brother was okay and alive, that he was out there somewhere and was alright. Even if he hated them for some reason that lead him to running away, which he wouldn't really understand because their parents were amazing, he just needed to know that Sam was alright.

And now he had that, to a degree. He knew that Sam was alive and he was okay, but apparently he was so deep in a delusion of monsters being real that he couldn't tell reality from fiction and as a result, he had killed a man.

A man that had been holding him hostage he reminded himself but a man nonetheless.

He didn't know which was better. Not knowing and living in ignorance or knowing and having to deal with it.

"I want to go home." Dean said quietly. "And...mom and dad deserve to know Sam. They deserve to know that you're alright."

Sam hesitated at that, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "I don't think they want to see me." he said quietly.

"Yeah they do." Dean said roughly. "And I swear to god Sam if you don't come with me and let them know you're okay."

"You'll punch me again?" Sam asked, a small smile on his face. But he stood up and nodded. "Alright, lets go."

Dean nodded and looked around the warehouse, eyes lingering on the dead body for a moment before he spotted the door and walked towards it, making sure that his brother was following him.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**156/365**

**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	3. Chapter 3

The drive back to town was silent, heavy in a way that Dean couldn't bring himself to break. He kept his gaze straight ahead to the window, watching his brother from the corner of his eyes.

His brother looked even worse in the half light of the street lights as they passed. He would tighten his grip on the steering wheel every now and then, eyes flicking to the rear view mirror, but otherwise, not moving.

Dean couldn't get the image out of his mind, the reminder of the body that they had left back in the warehouse as a prime example of just how far his brother had fallen. Sam had killed a man for god's sake and was in the belief that the man was a demon and deserved it.

He remembered how strong Sam was, the hint of strength he had felt when Sam had lifted him and even when he had punched his brother, it almost felt like he was punching solid metal. Sams clothes were a bit loose on him but when they pressed against him or rose slightly, Dean could see a hint of abs and muscles.

He did go to the gym regularly, more to keep in shape than to gain muscle for anything else. He knew that he was fit and capable of defending himself against an average man, but Sam wasn't average, he was built and taken care of in a way to make sure that he could fight back.

If Sam snapped and decided to turn on him, Dean knew that he didn't have that much of a chance in winning it.

Despite it he didn't feel afraid for his life. Despite knowing what his brother had done, Dean wasn't afraid of him. Maybe Sam was crazy, maybe he did have delusions and hallucinations of things that weren't there.

But he was still Sam, he was still his little brother. He might be pissed to all hell at him but Dean still knew that Sam couldn't, wouldn't, hurt him.

"What are you thinking about?" Sam asked softly, breaking the silence.

Dean took a deep breath. "You." he said truthfully. "Why'd you leave Sam? What the hell happened?"

"That's even harder to explain." Sam said, fingers tightening on the steering wheel again. "And I don't want to talk about it twice, can you wait until we see our parents?"

"Waited seven years Sam, I can wait a bit longer." Dean said, trying and failing to keep the bitterness out of his voice. He saw Sam sighed and he turned to his brother once more.

Sam half glanced at him before turning back to the road, shifting in his seat.

Sam was twenty four years old, Dean celebrated each and every one of those birthdays for the last seven years alone in his house with a six pack and a bottle of Jack. Dean was twenty eight years old and staring at his brother, Dean might as well have been in his mid twenties instead of his brother who looked more and more like he had aged over ten years instead.

Dean let his eyes roam over Sam's face, taking in the stress lines once more, feeling a pang in his chest when he saw a hint of gray hair starting throughout his hair. Not enough to start to color, but enough that he noticed it. Sam hadn't shaved in what looked like weeks, when he had left he didn't even have to shave yet, and he was thin despite being muscular.

"What the hell happened to you Sammy?" Dean whispered, the old nickname slipping out without him wanting it to.

Sam turned his head to shoot him a small, sad smile. "Life." he said simply. "I got dealt...a very crappy shoot Dean."

Dean shook his head, trying to recall any hints that Sam had been taking something that lead to this, if he found out who gave it to his brother for the first time, he'd be the one killing them. "You could've called."

"Couldn't actually." Sam said softly. "But again, I'd rather talk about it once."

Dean shook his head and turned back to stare out the window. "Fine, whatever."

Sam fell silent as well, not saying anything as they finally reached town and drove towards their childhood home. All too soon and not long enough they were in front of the old house and Sam turned the car off, staring up at the house but not moving just yet.

Dean swallowed when he saw that the lights were still on and it took a great deal of strength to slip off the seat belt and reach for the door. "Well, let's get this over with."

Sam glanced at him and then copied him, getting out of the car and staring up at the house with an unreadable expression on his face. "Hasn't changed that much." he said softly and if Dean concentrated, he could hear Sam's voice shaking slightly.

Dean tried not to think, forcing himself to go up the porch and before he could chicken out, he reached out and knocked on the door. Sam slowly followed him up to the porch, hands in his pockets and shoulders hunched over as he stood to the side.

It took a moment but soon the door opened to show their dad John who blinked in surprise at seeing Dean there but then smiled. "Hey, what's the late night visit?" he asked, reaching out to hug his son in greeting.

Dean managed to return the hug, fighting the urge to bury his face in Johns shoulder like he had as a child, before he stepped back and looked to his side.

John did the same and Dean felt him freeze when Sam came forward more into the light of the porch. He looked up at him and gave him a shaky smile. "Hi dad." he whispered.

"Sammy?" John choked out, staring at him in awe and confusion. He moved away from Dean, moving slowly towards the younger man. "Sammy?"

"Yeah, it's me." Sam said, taking in a great shuddering breath. "I'm...I'm sorry. Its that I-" whatever he was about to say was cut off when John came forward and wrapped his arms around him.

Sam flinched back, obviously expecting something else, but slowly brought his arms up, wrapping them around their dad. His eyes closed and he folded more into John, holding onto him as his frame shook slightly.

"Sammy." John whispered, his voice cracking. Dean felt his chest tighten at the look on John's face, it was the same as when Sam had been officially declared missing. Johns hand came up to grip at the back of Sam's head and just held him, both of their shoulders shaking. He wanted to look away but at the same time, he couldn't tear his gaze away from it.

After what seemed like an eternity John moved back enough to look up, and fuck he also had to look up to see Sams face, his hand moving to cup Sams face as he looked over his son. Even from where he was standing Dean could see tears in his dads eyes and Sam had a hint of them as well.

"Sammy." John whispered, his voice heavy as his thumb moved over Sam's face. "Where have you been?"

"It's a long story dad." Sam said, needing to clear his throat to get the word out.

John swallowed hard, opening his mouth to ask more, when another voice made them look back towards the house.

"John? Who is it?" Mary called out to him as she came out onto the porch. She smiled at Dean when she saw him but also froze when she saw Sam on the porch with John, stepping back for a moment. "Sammy?"

"Hey mom." Sam said, looking at her a bit desperately. "I'm-"

Mary immediately came forward, all but shoving John to the side slightly as she reached for Sam, hugging him tightly, gripping at him as hard as she could. "Sammy." she whispered, her voice breaking and her knees buckling.

Sam held her up and let out a deep breath before he leaned in and whispered something to her. Dean couldn't hear what he said but Mary froze once more and pulled away to look up at him in shock.

"No." she whispered. "No, its cant be. Sammy."

Sam just stared at her sadly and nodded, sighing before he looked up at John and Dean.

"Okay." he said. "Lets talk."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**163/365**

**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	4. Chapter 4

It took some time to get back inside but eventually the four of them went back into the house. Sam looked around in wonder, his eyes a bit withdrawn as he took everything in.

"You guys haven't changed things that much." he murmured, needing to clear his throat. Dean saw Marys hand tighten around Sams, she had refused to let go of him.

"Not much to change." Mary whispered, staring straight ahead despite her death grip onto Sams arm. "Your room is the same too, we didn't do anything."

Sam nodded, taking a deep breath. He looked at her for a moment and then back at John. Dean could hear Johns breath hitch slightly and his shoulders shake but he didn't look away.

"Sammy, where have you been?" John asked, by some miracle his voice was steady. "Are...are you in trouble? Do you need help?"

Dean saw Mary tense up a bit at that and when she looked up and saw Dean staring at her she quickly looked away. John didn't notice, his complete attention on Sam.

Sam took another deep breath. "It's...complicated." he finally said. "And I...kinda? I guess?"

John nodded, straightened up a bit more and squaring his shoulders. "What do you need from us?"

"To listen." Sam said softly, looking at their mom again. Mary looked up at Sam, her hand coming up shakily to cup his cheek tenderly. "And just...there's a lot of things I need to tell you guys."

"Okay, we'll listen." John said simply, leading them into the living room and sitting down on the couch. Dean gingerly sat down next to his dad, staring at Sam who sat on the other one with Mary at his side. She was still holding onto his arm and hand tightly, just now she was staring at the ground.

Sam looked at her and it took a moment before she slowly looked up at him. He hesitated and then turned to John and Dean.

"Can I...I need to ask mom something really quick." Sam said, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "In the kitchen, we'll be right back."

John blinked at that, looking at Mary who didn't seem to be able to look at him. "Okay." he said, trying and mostly able to hide the hurt in his voice. "We'll be here."

Sam nodded and got up with Mary, the both of them going into the kitchen. There was no door but they huddled around the corner as best as they could, speaking in hushed tones.

John stared at the two of them and turned to Dean. "What do you think they're talking about?" he asked, his hands wringing together on his lap.

Dean shrugged, not liking where any of this was going and he had a horrible feeling that it was about the man that Sam had killed back at the warehouse.

John looked back towards the kitchen, a ragged breath escaping him. "He's alive." he whispered. "Whatever happened, whatever he's going through or running away from we can handle it. We'll get over it, at the very least he's alive and he's home."

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat when he heard the pain in Johns voice, remembering just what their parents had gone through when Sam had disappeared.

He still needed to beat his brothers ass for that, psychotic murderer or not, he was still Dean's little brother and he needed to be reminded of that fact.

After what seemed like an eternity later Sam and Mary came back from the kitchen, the both of them looked like they had gone sudden nights without sleeping and Mary was slightly red eyed.

John immediately jumped up and went to Mary, half wrapping his arms around her. "What happened?" he asked, his eyes going to Sam before back to her. "What did you guys talk about?"

Sam sighed and rubbed at his eyes, sitting back down on the couch. He waited for John to guide Mary back to the couch as well, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and holding her close.

Sam finally looked at the three of them, looking slightly lost and alone before he washed it away from his face. He took a deep breath and leaned back in his seat.

"Okay." Sam said, his fingers roaming over the armrest of the couch. "Okay so, I guess the start is about seven years ago but actually...the real start is more like ten years ago."

Ten years, which meant Sam had been fourteen and Dean felt some part of him twitch at the thought of it.

"It started with nightmares, I couldn't sleep at night because of them." Sam said, staring off at some point at the wall. Dean glanced at his parents and they looked as confused as he felt. "They were all dreams of people dying in various ways, always horrible, always bloody, and always in some of the worst ways possible."

"And then suddenly, I'd turn on the news and see that they had actually happened days later." Sam continued. "I tried to ignore it for a while but I was terrified of going to sleep and seeing them again, I tried not to but I'd always fall back asleep. And I kept having those dreams that would always come true days later."

"So what the hell are you saying? That you saw the future?" Dean asked with a snort, stopping when Sam nodded.

"I'm saying exactly that, but I wasn't able to control it." Sam said. "And finally I tried to find some help online, I started to look for answers and it brought me to someone. A man named Bobby Singer."

Sam took another deep breath. "Bobby Singer heard everything I said and he's the one that introduced me to what they were and what I was, I was a psychic." he swallowed. "He also told me more about what was out there so that I'd be careful. He told me that there are hunters out there that hunt people like me, and others."

"Others." John repeated.

Sam nodded. "Others. There's an entire world out there that most people don't know about, a world of supernatural beings. Vampires, witches and demons," he looked at Dean for a moment and then looked away. "Countless other kinds."

Sams fingers dug into the couch for a moment. "Seven years ago I had another dream, another vision. And it was...it was something that I didn't want to come true, something that I couldn't let happen and I knew that the only way to prevent it was if...I wasn't here. So...I had to leave and I had to do it immediately and-"

"Stop. Just stop." John interrupted, shaking his head. "Sam, I have no idea where you got this from, this delusions, but this isn't true. It's not possible and," he stopped and took a deep breath. "I'm happy you're back, I'm more than ecstatic, especially since it's clear that you do need help. We'll help you, we'll do whatever it takes, but please don't think about these lies and don't think that this is something that could actually be happening."

"He's telling the truth." Mary said, her voice was soft but the two of them easily heard it.

"What are you talking about?" John asked incredulously. "Mary he's not making any sense. Supernatural? Being a hunter? Having dreams about the future? How can you believe him?"

"Because." Mary said taking a deep breath. "I was raised as a hunter too."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**174/365**

**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	5. Chapter 5

Dean and John were both looking at Mary, not really understanding what she had said. Sam was looking as well but he didn't look surprised. He knew about it, Dean realized with a jolt.

"Did you know?" Dean asked his brother who glanced up at him and then looked away. At the same time John asked, "What are you talking about?"

Sam and Mary looked at one another, wordlessly talking to one another, and then Mary sighed, bringing her hands up to rub at her eyes.

"It's a very long story." Mary said softly. "It's...basically speaking. My family comes from a long line of hunters. According to my dad we have ancestors on the Mayflower, that's how far back we can trace it and every generation was a hunter."

"Hunting is...a lifestyle, it wasn't a choice, it was already made for us." Mary continued. "I fought with my parents, a lot, about that. Because I didn't want to be a hunter, I didn't want to raise my future kids as hunters, always needing to look over their shoulder, never being safe. But..." she trailed off, looking at Sam again who was looking to the side.

"Stuff happened mom." Sam said softly. "I've made my peace with it."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" John asked, leaning towards her, reaching to take her hand in his. His hand was shaking slightly Dean noted but he gripped at Mary's hand tightly. "Mary?"

"I didn't want you to know." Mary whispered. She gripped back at his hand just as tightly. "I wanted to leave all that behind, I didn't want to have anything to do with that life anymore. I was...I was running away and I didn't want to look back."

"Mom." Sam said quietly, getting her attention back on him. "Tell him about the other part."

At that Mary looked a bit confused, straightening up as she looked at him. "The other part?"

"The real beginning, when it all started." Sam told her, a pained look on his face. He had such an apologetic look on his face, sorrow lining every part of him as he spoke. "Azazel."

Mary froze at the name, her pupils shrinking to pinpoints and for a moment, she couldn't breathe. "Azazel?" she whispered, her voice barely audible.

"Who's Azazel?" John immediately asked, looking between them. He looked panicked and stricken, he tightened his grip on Mary's hand. "Mary? Talk to me, please."

"Azazel...is a demon." Mary whispered, her body slowly starting to shake as she stared at Sam. "He...he had..."

"You want me to tell it?" Sam offered her, leaning back in his seat tiredly. For the first time Dean noticed the bags under his eyes and a corner of his mind wondered when the last time Sam had slept was.

"How can you know it?" Mary asked, her voice still just barely more than a whisper. "Its...it all happened years ago."

Sam was quiet for a moment. "I time traveled." he told them, and it was just as ridiculous as demons being real. His cell phone buzzed for a moment and he glanced down at it, looking at the text. "I time traveled and I saw...a lot of things."

"But if you saw it happen, why didn't you stop it?" Mary asked, a strange emotion in her voice that rose slightly.

"Because I had no idea what I was seeing, I was just kinda...thrust into it and I saw it. It was shown to me so that I could understand what had happened, not so that I could change it." Sam told them. "But I was there and I saw everything."

He cleared his throat and started to talk. "Azazel was a demon, a powerful one, that was making deals with humans. Demon deals usually end with the human being dragged to hell in ten years after the agreement. But Azazel was making deals with the end result of just wanting to come into their house in ten years, not for their soul. Because of that he managed to make a lot of deals with a lot of people."

Slowly Sam swiped open his phone and answered the text, using only one thumb to type it out. "Mom was a hunter back then so she and her dad went to go and find him, not realizing he was a demon at first because...well...you don't fuck with demons. Not much can kill them."

"You did." Dean injected, speaking for the first time in what felt like forever. "You killed one. Back at the warehouse." seeing their parents confused look at him he quickly added. "I'll tell you after him."

"I've found ways to kill them." Sam said softly. He reached into his inner jacket pocket and pulled out a knife with a wooden handle. The metal caught the light and Dean saw what looked like runes etched into the blade. "This is called a Kurdish knife, it can kill demons and a lot of other things."

He put the knife back into his jacket. "So mom tried to attack him and well...he liked it. He liked her and he wanted to make a deal with her. But mom would never, no hunter ever would, so he...forced her hand."

Sam looked up at their dad and Dean felt a small shiver go down his back at the sorrow look in Sams eyes. "He snapped your neck dad." he said softly.

John stiffened and Dean saw his hand start to go up to his neck. "He...what?" he asked. He himself was having a bit of trouble breathing after that.

"He snapped your neck." Sam repeated. "Right in front of mom to force her to make a deal with him. Your life for entry into her hours in ten years."

"How could I not take it?" Mary whispered, staring at the ground, shaking slightly. Her head was bowed but Dean could see a few tears falling down her cheeks. "You were dead, right in my arms, and I was...I couldn't handle it. Even if he wanted my soul I would've done it."

"Mary." John whispered, his voice cracking as he reached for her. Mary did the same, holding onto him with everything she had, her shoulders almost heaving in sobs.

Sam and Dean looked away from them, trying to give them a bit of privacy together. Dean got up and went to the kitchen to quickly rummage for tissues and a few bottles of water for everyone. Handing those out he sat back down, waiting for everything to calm back down to speak.

"So he forced mom to make a deal." Dean said, staring at his hands on his lap. "And it was to come into her house in ten years?"

Sam nodded, rolling his bottle of water in his hands, he had already drained half of it. "Yeah." he said quietly, watching their parents. They had managed to calm down a bit but were holding onto one another, red eyed and shaking slightly.

Dean was suddenly brought back to that night when Sam had disappeared, they had looked like this back then too, and he quickly took another swing of water, wishing it was something alcoholic.

"Do you know what he wanted?" Mary asked, her voice low and broken. She cleared her throat and sipped her water. "Or what he did?"

"Yeah." Sam said once more, fingers tugging at the wrapper on the bottle. "He wanted to get to me."

"What do you mean he wanted to get to you?" Mary asked, horror creeping into her voice. "Sammy what did he do?"

Sam didn't answer for a moment, eyes downward. "He's the reason I had those visions, he made sure that I got those powers. He was," he took a deep breath. "He was creating a small army of, he called them, special children. Each one was the child of someone he made a deal with and each one had a power. Later on he took a group of kids to a place, away from everything, away from people. And he forced them to fight until one person remained." he finally tore at the wrapper on the bottle and pulled it away.

"Then when one person is left, another group would be brought and it all starts all over again." Sam said, rubbing at his eyes as he leaned back into his seat once more.

"Did he try to do that with you?" John asked, his voice clear that he wasn't sure he wanted to hear what his answer was.

Sam didn't say anything, he just nodded.

"What happened?"

Sam was quiet, eyes withdrawn and slumped in his seat as he stared at the ground. "I'm here, aren't I?"

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	6. Chapter 6

None of them spoke for a few moments, they didn't know what to say. There was a small sound coming from Mary, it almost sounded like she was crying but trying to keep herself composed. When Dean looked at his parents he could see a hint of tears in his dad's eyes as well as both of them stared at Sam.

Sam, for his part, didn't speak either or look at any of them. He did rub at his eyes for a moment and that moment made Dean remember when Sam had been Sammy, when he had been his little brother climbing into his bed because he had a nightmare.

Sam looked two seconds away from falling asleep right there on the seat and Dean didn't know how to handle the sudden rush of older brother emotions that coursed through him.

"Sammy, you look exhausted." John finally said, his voice soft in a way that Dean hadn't heard in a very long time.

Sam didn't answer but nodded, still lightly playing with the now empty water bottle in his hands.

"From what I remember about being a hunter, you're running on four hours of sleep combined for the week." Mary said, her voice heavy. She cleared her throat and try to keep it steady. "Right?"

Still not answering Sam nodded, Dean couldn't look away from him, picking more and more things about that he didn't notice before. The premature wrinkles that were appearing, the stress lines, the bags under his eyes. He was in an almost desperate need of a shave and when he looked at his parents he knew that they were seeing the same things that he was.

Sam was only twenty-four years old, he looked closer to their dads age than to his own.

"Here's what you're going to do." Mary told him, her voice taking an authoritative tone. "You're going to go upstairs and take a shower, you can use your dads things. There's another razor under the sink if you want to shave and your dad will give you some clothes to wear for now. Then, I'm going to quickly make you something to eat because you look like you've been starving yourself and then, you're going to go to sleep."

Sam opened his mouth, most likely to argue, gripping at his cell phone when it notified him once more. He glanced at the message and almost all at once all the fight visibly left his body.

"Okay mom." he whispered, voice quiet and youngn sounding.

Mary nodded, wiping at her eyes and stood up, going over to him.

Reaching down she took his hand in hers and tugged, it was most likely nothing to him but Sam obediently stood up, towering over her. But when he looked up at her under his hair, tired and drained and everything in between, it was just so reminiscent of Sam being a child that Dean felt like he couldn't breathe.

Mary reached up for him and wrapped her arms around him, bringing him down to her and just holding him. Sam tensed up but slowly, bit by bit, relaxed more into her touch until he was bent over in what Dean was sure wasn't that comfortable a position, but holding onto her. His back and chest moved in such a way that Dean knew that he was breathing heavily and maybe was close to breaking down.

"Its okay Sammy." he could hear Mary whisper, a hand coming up to stroke at his hair. "Its okay, you're home now."

After a moment Sam straightened up, eyes wet, and rubbed at his eyes with the heel of his hand. John moved forward at that and did the same, hugging Sam tightly, not wanting to let go.

Sam was taller than John, a corner of Deans mind noted. He had been in the middle of a late growth spurt before he had left and now he was taller than both Dean and John.

"C'mon son, let's get you back onto your feet." John murmured, placing a hand on Sam's back and slowly guiding him towards the stairs. Sam let himself be led away, he glanced at Dean for a moment but then looked away, pain clear in his eyes.

Dean breathed out as Sam walked by, watching his little brother go upstairs with their dad, and then turned to their mom.

For her part Mary looked two seconds away from breaking down as well but she managed a small smile at him, going to hug him as well. Dean clung to her, burying his face in her shoulder.

"Things really got complicated in just an hour." he muttered into her skin. He could feel her give a small laugh and it made him smile as well.

"Sweetie, you can call it what it is." Mary told him, also stroking at his hair. "Its fucked up."

Despite himself Dean couldn't help but wince at the cursing and it made Mary laugh once more. He knew that his mother could curse like a sailor but it was still kinda weird to hear it coming from her.

"C'mon." she said tugging Dean towards the kitchen. "Help me get some things ready."

He could hear upstairs as Sam and their dad moved around and then the pipes shook and he could dimly make out the sound of the shower running. John joined them a minute later, staring at Mary for a moment as she was getting things out of the refrigerator.

"Dean, son, can you...leave us for a moment." he asked, swallowing hard. Dean glanced at his mother and father for a moment, seeing Mary tense up for a moment, but nodded as she set aside a small box of pasta.

Dean reached out and squeezed her arm for a moment and when he passed his dad he clasped his shoulder and went into the living room to give them a semblance of privacy.

He could hear them whispering in the kitchen, but thankfully it didn't sound like they were fighting, just talking quietly so that he didn't hear them. He knew that later on, when they had real privacy, they would talk again but for now they were getting a few things out of the way.

Dean sat down on the couch, staring at the ground as he mentally went through everything that Sam had told him. He couldn't get a few images out of his mind, the idea that a goddamn demon broke their dads neck in front of mom and forced her to make a deal was something that kept replaying in his mind.

But something else he couldn't get out of his mind, was the last thing that Sam had said. That he had been placed somewhere with other kids and forced to fight for his life, killing other kids in order to do so.

How had Sam done it? He was sure that it wouldn't be something easy for Sam to do or accept, he could almost see Sam having a breakdown after doing it.

Or maybe it didn't happen like that at all. The Sam he was imagining was a Sam from years ago that might not even exist anymore. Maybe this Sam easily killed the other kids and walked away with his head held high.

But then he remembered the world weary, exhausted, world on his shoulders Sam on the couch just minutes ago and he was sure that the second Sam his mind created didn't have a place there.

Sighing he rubbed at his eyes, completely tired himself. He already knew that he wasn't going to be able to get back to his place and was thankful that their parents kept their rooms for them. It was like being thrown back in time for his teenage years but his bed was still there and still comfortable and that was all he needed.

And if he needed the extra bit of knowing that his family was just feet away from him and safe in their own beds, he kept that to himself.

Hearing footsteps he looked up and saw his brother coming down the stairs, dressed in a pair of their dads sweats and a shirt. Even from where he was sitting, he could see that it was a bit tight on Sam, he was more broader than their dad, but was loose around his stomach. His hair was wet and surprisingly he was shaved and Dean hated how much younger it made him look.

It reminded him even more of his little brother that ran away.

"Hey." Sam said softly, his eyes were also red and slightly puffy.

"Hey." Dean answered back, just staring at his little brother and seeing more and bits of pieces of the kid he had known. Sam saw him staring and smiled slightly as well and there they were, the dimples that immediately turned Sam and Sammy.

Dean felt his heart twist in his chest and he stood up.

"C'mon." he said. "Mom's got some food ready."

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	7. Chapter 7

The so called late dinner was a quiet affair, only Sam and Dean ate anything. Dean hadn't eaten anything since work and they weren't quite sure when Sam had ate last. Mary and John nibbled on a few things but mostly just watched them eat, holding hands under the table.

Sam cleared his plate every time, whenever it got close to being empty Mary quickly moved to put more food which he didn't argue against and just kept eating. A few times Sams head would start to fall forward as he started to nod off but he always jerked himself awake, rubbing at his eyes with his knuckles.

Finally he seemed to reach his limit and pushed his plate away, some food still on it. "Thank you." he said quietly, staring at the table. "It was really good."

"When was the last time you had a real meal?" John asked, his voice tense and filled with worry.

Sam was quiet for a lot longer than they were comfortable with. "I haven't really had the time to eat." he finally said and it wasn't really an answer, they all knew that.

"Sam how are you living?" John asked, making Mary shift in her seat. "What are you doing? Do you have a home base or something? Anything?"

"Hustling mainly, lots of people like to make bets at bars after a few drinks." Sam mumbled. "And...other ways."

Dean didn't want to think about what those other things were and he hated how his mind was making a picture regardless. He glanced at their parents and saw what he was sure the same expression on their dads face.

"I mean I have friends, other hunters." Sam continued, either ignoring or oblivious to their discomfort. "One owns a roadhouse and when I really needed money I'd work there or get other small jobs."

John swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "But those other ways..." he said, trying to find the right words. "Is that...are you safe?"

Sam shrugged and then paused, staring at Johns face for a moment. "Are...are you thinking sex stuff?" he asked, a bit dubiously and that made Dean relax just a bit. "Like a hooker?"

"You mentioned other ways and I'm not sure what other types there are." John protested but he visibly relaxed. "Its not?"

Sam smiled again at that, a bit amused despite everything. "I'm not having sex with people for money." he assured them. "I was talking about fake credit cards."

What did it mean of what their life had become in just a few hours that the idea of fake credit cards were not only accepted but made things a lot more relaxed, Dean couldn't help but wonder but then pushed it out of his mind.

They had other things to deal with after all.

"Sounds like something my family would've done in this day and age." Mary said softly. "Back then there weren't any credit cards so we had to use real money sparingly."

"Yeah. It's the way of hunters now." Sam said softly. He rubbed at his eyes once more, eyes slowly closing before he forced them open once more.

"Alright, now you go to sleep." Mary told him firmly. "Upstairs. We kept...we kept your room the same way and your bed is still there."

Sam swallowed and nodded. "Thank you." he said quietly. He looked at the dishes and started to pick them up, taking them to the sink.

John got up and stopped him, taking the plates from him. "We'll take care of this, you go to bed son." he told him. He looked at Dean too. "You too, you both look dead on your feet."

If Sam wanted to argue, he didn't, he didn't look like he had the strength to argue even if he wanted to. He just nodded and glanced at Dean before slowly going back upstairs to his old room.

Dean shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck, looking up at his parents. "Need my help?" he asked, his voice rough.

In an answer Mary went to him and tugged him up, all but shoving him towards the stairs. "Bed." she said firmly, uncaring about the fact that he was an adult. "Go to bed and go to sleep. Now."

He smiled despite himself and hugged her quickly which she returned, nodding at their dad before going upstairs as well.

He paused outside of Sam's room, somewhere he hadn't gone into for about as long as Sam had been gone. Taking a deep breath he opened the door and stepped inside.

Mom hadn't been kidding, they hadn't changed a single thing in the room since the day Sam had left. There was a mess of notebooks and textbooks on the desk and a pile of clothes in the corner that never got put away.

Sam was on his bed, somehow miraculously fitting on it, and he blinked sleepily up at him, moving to get up onto his elbows.

"Everything okay?" he asked, already getting out of the bed.

In an answer Dean just went across the room and slightly onto the bed, just staring at his brother. Sam laid back down but stared up at him in confusion.

"You planning on leaving again?" Dean asked roughly, not sure of what kind of an answer he was hoping for.

Sam hesitated and there was another answer, there were not many answers in his silence.

"I don't know." he finally said. "I have work to do and I have to get back to all of it, I'll explain more tomorrow." he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "But I'm here now."

Dean nodded and then moved onto the bed completely, wrapping his arms around his brother and just holding onto him. He felt Sam tense up but then relaxed, wrapping his arms around him as well.

"We fucking missed you Sammy." Dean whispered, feeling the hint of tears in his eyes. "I fucking missed you."

"Me too." Sam whispered, voice heavy. "I missed you too."

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	8. Chapter 8

Dean woke up slowly, the sun had already risen some time ago, but stayed in his bed, not wanting to get up and face the day just yet.

Slowly, bit by bit, things started to return to him. Everything that had happened yesterday replayed in his head and he groaned, turning to bring his blanket over his head in an attempt to block it from his mind.

Demons and monsters and hunting, both his brother and his mother were hunters, and everything else in between. He didn't want to think about any of that and just curled up on the bed a bit more.

But he also didn't have that luxury and he hated it. With a low growl he threw the blanket back, took a deep breath, and forced himself to at the very least sit up in his bed, rubbing at his eyes.

He looked around his childhood room, taking in the bits of pieces that he had left behind. Old posters were peeling off of the walls and he could see a few other odds and ends stuck around the room.

Everything was also clean of dust and everything else so that meant that his parents would come in here to clean up at the very least. Even in Sam's room, the bit that he could remember that wasn't his brother was clean, and it warmed a part of him that their parents still took care of everything they'd left behind.

He thought back to his brother for a moment, feeling his stomach twist in what he was sure wasn't hunger. A part of him believed that if he was going to leave his room he'd find out that Sam left in the middle of the night, just like last time, but this time for certain he'd never see his little brother again.

There was no point in denying the inevitable so he got up and went to the bathroom to quickly wash up and take care of business, lingering for as long as he felt comfortable before he left, going into the hallway.

He stopped in front of Sam's room, the door was half closed but not the whole way. Before he could psych himself out too much he reached for the door, pushing it open just enough to peer in.

He felt his legs weaken and almost collapsed in relief when he saw his brother still asleep on the bed, curled up into a ball, one hand under the pillow. Dean watched him for a few more moments, taking his fill in, before he pulled away going downstairs.

He had to lean against the banister for a moment, a relief he couldn't name or believe coursed through him. A part of him, a real part of him thought that either Sam would disappear or he was never here and he was just having a mental break as he lay dying on the warehouse that he had been kidnapped.

Swallowing hard Dean came down the rest of the way, going into the kitchen for some desperately needed coffee. He stopped in the doorway in surprise when he saw his mom already there, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee.

"Dean, hey." Mary said, looking up when he came in, blinking in surprise. She was wearing Johns bathrobe and she came up from the kitchen to hug him. "Morning, didn't expect you to be awake for a while."

Dean hugged her back tightly, lingering for a moment. "Couldn't sleep anymore." he said, glancing at the clock on the stove and grimacing, it was barely nine in the morning. At least it was the weekend and he didn't have to go to work today.

"Me either." Mary said softly, petting at his hair which was softer and out of place, he didn't put any gel into it yet. "Sams still asleep though, I checked in on him."

"Me too." Dean said, hugging her for one more moment before he let go, walking around her to get to the coffee machine. "Is dad still asleep?"

"He went to the supermarket." Mary told him, surprising him. "He didn't sleep that much last night so he went shopping to stock up." She shrugged. "I told him it wasn't necessary but he wanted to."

Dean nodded and drank from his cup, savoring the burn from the coffee. He rubbed at the back of his neck and leaned against the counter, just sipping.

"You want some breakfast?" Mary asked him, going to the refrigerator and peering into it. "Don't think we can do anything special right now but we have eggs and bacon."

Dean rubbed at his stomach for a moment, feeling the coffee settle a bit uncomfortably. "I'm good, thanks."

Mary nodded and then went back to the table, sitting down and just drinking her own drink, staring at the tabletop.

"You were a hunter." Dean suddenly said, bringing her out of her trance to look up at him. "Right?"

Mary nodded, looking a bit worn down at that. "I used to be." she said softly. "And I used to be a good one. But I hated it."

"What's it like?" Dean couldn't help but ask. "Just...hunting things? Monsters in the dark?"

Mary gave a small, it could almost be called bitter, smile. "Pretty much." she agreed. "Monsters that you had no idea existed, monsters that seem straight out of a book, monsters that have no right to exist. I've hunted a lot of them."

"Why?"

Mary shrugged. "It's how I was raised. A rattle in one hand, a sawed off shotgun in the other." she said, turning the cup around in a circle in her hands. "My parents, their parents, and their parents going back generation upon generation. I was kinda the first one to try to stop it." she glanced up towards where Sam's room was. "To no avail I guess. "

"But what was the point?" Dean couldn't help but press. "Why? Isn't it dangerous?"

"The most dangerous thing that exists." Mary told him. "You're constantly on guard, you're always looking over your shoulder, gun at the ready and silver right there. Hunters don't have a long life expectancy and what we did wasn't legal because no one really knew about it. And that was the point, no one knew about it other than hunters."

Mary sipped her coffee and stared down into the depths. "The reason? Because no one else would, no one else knew what was out there and it fell to the hunters to protect people that didn't know."

"All supernatural beings targeted humans in one way or another, some used them, some ate them, some possessed them." Mary continued. "And hunters were the only ones that knew about it, knew the signs, and could come in to help them."

"Hunting kills you eventually though." Mary said, shaking her head. "Either you couldn't move fast enough or another supernatural being comes for revenge of some kind. A hunter can kill a werewolf and twenty years later that werewolves child is all grown up and hunts them down to avenge their parents."

"Werewolves are real?" Dean couldn't help but ask, already feeling silly for asking such a thing.

Mary did laugh at that. "Yes, werewolves are real." she told him. "So are vampires, witches, and a lot of other things you've never even heard of."

Dean had so many more questions but stopped when he heard footsteps upstairs, taking a deep breath.

"Sounds like Sams awake." Mary said with another smile, getting up to pour another cup of coffee. "Once your dad gets home we can talk for real."

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	9. Chapter 9

After a few minutes Sam stumbled downstairs, eyes squinting and rubbing at the mess that was his hair. He paused in the doorway at the sight of them and then gave a small smile, coming into the kitchen completely. "Morning."

"Morning." Mary and Dean said in unison, watching Sam. He glanced at them for a moment before looking at the counter where the coffee machine was still working.

"You can have coffee Sam, it's your home too." Mary told him, seeing a bit of relief on his face for a moment before he went over to it, rummaging for a moment before he pulled out a cup and filled it with coffee which he drank deeply from.

"How'd you sleep?" Mary asked, tightening Johns robe around her.

"Better than I have in a while." Sam said quietly, refilling his cup and leaning against the counter. "A long while."

Mary nodded, an almost fond look on her face. "Yeah I remember that." she said softly. "Lots of sleepless nights when you're hunting."

"Lot more now than before." Sam said softly, swirling the coffee in his cup before drinking again.

Mary looked up at him questioningly at that. "What do you mean?"

Sam didn't answer for a few moments. "Lots of different things have happened in the last few years." he finally said.

Dean was about to question him when he heard Johns car and the gravel outside crunch as the car parked outside the garage. It took a few moments but John came inside, carrying a multitude of bags in his arms. He stopped and blinked when he saw that they were all awake and in the kitchen but then came in to put the bags on the table.

"Morning dad." Dean said, lifting his cup in greeting which Sam copied as well.

"Morning boys." John said, looking them over and lingering on Sam, who glanced up at John for a moment before looking away. "I got...stuff."

Mary had been busy taking everything out of the bags and setting it down onto the counter to be put away, looking everything over. "Sam you want breakfast?

"No thanks." Sam said softly. "I'm not...used to eating breakfast, I usually skip it, so just coffee is fine for now."

John looked worried for a moment but Mary just nodded, stacking the boxes on the counter. Once she was done putting everything away she fidgeted and then took another cup of coffee.

"Alright." she said, going back to the kitchen table and sitting. She motioned with her finger for everyone to sit down, there were still four chairs there even after all this time. "Now, we're all rested up and caffeinated, we can focus and talk."

Sam looked uncomfortable, shifting in his seat and gripping the cup tightly. He took a deep breath and looked out the window. "Back to Azazel, the kids he was kidnapping and making us," he closed his eyes and cracked his neck from side to side. "He was looking for a specific kid, a leader he said."

"A leader for what?" John asked, starting to get up multiple times before sitting down again, obviously wanting to move around but remain with the others at the same time.

"A demonic army that he was planning on releasing to the world." Sam said, fingers aimlessly moving over the cup rim and handle. "We got tricked into opening a hell's gate, an opening to hell that was preventing hundreds upon hundreds, if not thousands, of demons from coming to earth."

Mary let out a deep breath, both hands curled around the cup as she tried to steady herself. "All those demons freed." she said. "Back when I hunted, it was rare to find two demons a year at the most. Most hunters didn't ever run into a demon during their lifetime."

"It's become a lot more common now, a lot more omens, a lot more death, a lot more demons." Sam said softly. "Worst was when they possessed people we knew."

"So demons possess people? Like...in Ghost?" Dean asked, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his seat.

A corner of Sams mouth lifted at that. "Yeah kinda like in Ghost." he agreed. "Except a hell of a lot worse."

"So hell on earth, demons everywhere, people are being possessed." John counted off. "Where is this going? What are they doing? What happened to this Azazel?"

A small smile appeared on Sams face but Dean felt chilled at the sight of it. There was no humor, no light in that smile. He could almost call it predatory.

"I killed him." Sam said simply. "I managed to find a way to trap him and kill him. But it was too late, he had already gotten what he wanted."

"So the army of hell is on earth with no leader?" Mary asked.

"They technically have a leader, the leaders just not taken up the mantle and as a result the demons are loose and uncontrolled, doing whatever they want." Sam told them.

"Well then who the hell is their leader supposed to be?" John demanded.

"Me."

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	10. Chapter 10

For a moment Dean was very happy that he hadn't eaten anything because if he had, he was sure that he would be throwing up at this point.

He chanced a glance at their parents and was at least a bit thankful that they had the same expressions of disbelief and uneasiness that he was sure that he was feeling.

He really wished that he could spike this coffee with something a hell of a lot stronger.

Sam wasn't looking at them, he was looking into his coffee cup and slowly sipping at it, rubbing at his eyes. He didn't seem to be in any hurry to start talking again, eyes withdrawn and far away.

"You?" Mary asked, finally breaking the silence, her voice heavy and laden with an emotion that Dean couldn't name.

Sam nodded, turning his head to look out the window instead of at them. "Me." he agreed. "That I was the last one standing and I was apparently the promised one that was supposed to lead the demons to victory on earth." he shook his head. "And the fact that I haven't made a lot of them mad."

John looked lost, he had no idea what to say anymore. He looked at Dean and then at Mary, she at the very least was familiar with the stuff that Sam was saying, leaving both of them out of the conversation in a way.

"Okay." John said, running his hand down his face. "Let's try this again. Sam, why do the demons really want you to be their leader?"

"Because I killed Azazel, because I passed all his tests, because I survived." Sam said with a shrug. "Choose one, they're not that picky."

"So what was with the demon from yesterday?" Dean asked. "The one that kidnapped me."

"Yes let's go back to that. What happened yesterday?" John said turning back to Dean. "You got kidnapped by a demon?"

"And how did you find out?" Dean asked turning to his brother. "You were there in like...hours. Were you in the area?"

Sam shifted in his seat. "I was close enough that I was able to make the trip." he said slowly. "I was in Lebanon doing something when I learned about it. The demon was trying to lead me out and it knew to get to you to do it."

"Why?" Dean asked, setting his cup on the table with a small bang. "How'd they even know about me? How did they know that you would come?"

Sam looked pained for a moment as he looked up at Dean, hurt and pain in his eyes for a moment. "Of course I would've come." he said in a broken tone. He cleared his throat and looked away, taking a deep breath. "Some demons know about you because of one demon before, I got possessed a while back and the demon got a lot of information from me, including you guys."

"You got possessed?" Mary asked, distressed. "How did you get freed? Who exercised it?"

"Exorcized?" Dean heard their dad mutter, shaking his head.

"One of the other hunters I sometimes work with managed to track me down and realize it. The demon wore me for about two months and thankfully, other than a few activities it didn't do anything to damage me." Sam said, shrugging.

"A few activities?" Mary pressed, leaning forward and placing her elbows on the table to do so.

"Smoking, drinking, I think some drugs, I'm not sure." Sam said making a face. "I couldn't get the taste of cigarettes out of my mouth for a while and thanks to that, I kinda want to have more but I don't."

"Don't you dare start smoking." Mary said, trying to keep a steady tone in her lecturing but it was falling short as her own eyes got withdrawn, sighing and shaking her head as well.

John glanced at her and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing his thumb against her comfortingly. She leaned into him but didn't say anything.

"But yeah, that demon got some information and I'm sure they spread it along." Sam said, playing with his cup. "Frankly I'm a bit surprised that it's been so long that they decided to do something with it."

Sam looked down and tugged his shirt to the side, revealing a black harsh tattoo of a five pointed star surrounded by fire. "This is an anti-possession tattoo." he said, letting the shirt fall back. "Keeps demons out so possession isn't on the table anymore."

"We just had necklaces with that symbol." Mary said with a small smile, still leaning into John. "I had one on a bracelet I used to wear."

Sam nodded. "I got it after the possession, just wanted to make sure that there was no possible way for me to get possessed again." he gave a small shudder. "Not something I really want to experience again."

A cell phone rang at that moment, they looked at one another not recognizing the ringtone until Sam stood up and went to the table in the living room, answering his phone, his voice low enough that they couldn't make out what he was saying.

"Jesus Christ." John said, slumping in his seat slightly. He looked at Dean once more. "This is...this is not something I ever expected to be dealing with."

"Me either dad." Dean said quietly, getting up and bringing the coffee pot to the table to refill their cups.

"Thanks sweetie." Mary said taking her cup and drinking from it. "I really wish that you guys didn't have to know about this."

"I wish that you told me about it." John told her, looking down at Mary. "All those times when we were dating, I thought that your dad was abusing you."

Mary blinked at that. "You thought that?"

John nodded. "You were so skittish and so afraid of something, you hated talking about him so...I started to think the worst." he said. "I really wanted to just take you away from there."

Mary smiled at him, the tension leaving her body for a few moments before she passed up and kissed him softly. Dean looked away to give them some privacy as Sam came back into the room at that moment, looking a bit grave.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked and at the tone of his voice John and Mary broke apart to look at them.

Sam took a deep breath. "I need to go."

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	11. Chapter 11

Silence was a hell of a lot louder than screaming and Deans ears were ringing with overwhelming silence. Sam couldn't look any of them in the eyes, holding onto his phone and staring at the ground instead.

"I need to go." he repeated. "Stuff...stuff came up and I can't ignore it, my...my friends need my help."

"We need you." John was the first one to break the silence, the words strained and tense. "Sam, you can't just leave right now."

"I need to go." Sam stressed, still not looking at them. "There's a lot happening and I need to go and help them."

"And what the hell is so important that you're going to leave your family again?" Dean demanded, hating how much he liked how Sam flinched at his words.

Sam took a deep breath, he had managed to get dark circles under his eyes in seconds, looking as if he had the world on his shoulders once more.

"The end of the world." he said softly and Dean was sure that he had heard him wrong. "I'm dealing with the end of the world."

"Is...is that code for something?" John asked hesitantly, glancing at Mary who just looked pale.

"I wish." Sam said softly. "Its...there's a lot to tell you and I don't have that much time but yeah, it's the end of the world and I'm trying my best to keep that from happening."

"Is it the demons that got free?" Mary asked, swallowing hard. "Are they the ones that are trying to end the world?"

"Half them." Sam said softly, shaking his head. "I don't...I don't want to overwhelm you guys, there's a lot of new things that are happening. Mom, its stuff that you've never experienced before in your past as a hunter. It's a whole new chapter and most hunters have no idea what to do with it."

"Sam, what is it?" Mary asked. "Just tell us, skip the minor details and just tell us."

"Angels." Sam finally said, taking a deep breath. "I'm talking about angels."

"Angels are real?" Mary asked in disbelief, and if mom was the one in disbelief despite having been a hunter, what did that mean for them?

"Angels are real." Sam confirmed, nodding. "But don't get that confused. Angels are nowhere near the good guys."

"But...aren't angels supposed to be good?" Dean asked. "I mean the bible says that they are."

"The bible is a liar and I'm going to be honest, if I had to choose between angels and demons, I'd pick demons." Sam told them. "They're manipulative, they're destructive, they look down on us and they don't care if we die."

"And demons don't?" Mary asked dubiously, raising an eyebrow.

"Demons don't hide it behind righteousness."

Sams phone beeped once more and he looked down at it, answering a text quickly as his fingers flew over the screen. "Demons are a lot more straightforward." he continued. "They don't hide what they want like the angels do."

Sam sighed and rubbed at his eyes, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, I really am." he said softly, finally looking up at them. "I'll try to come back, I don't know when, but I really need to go."

With that he turned around and quickly went back upstairs, not letting any of them have a chance to say anything else.

Maybe he was afraid that they would be able to keep him from leaving and he was trying to avoid it.

Johns hands came up to grip at his hair for a moment, breathing out heavily. "We can't just...let him leave." he said, his voice rough and heavy. "What if...what if we never see him again?"

Mary didn't speak, eyes withdrawn. "That's the life of a hunter." she said quietly. "Its...it's why I never wanted that life. And...I'm going to be honest, we can't stop him." she took a deep breath. "You can't ever stop a hunter."

"We can't just let him go without a fight." John protested, turning to look at her. Mary met his gaze tiredly, drained, and already accepting what Sam was about to do.

Dean got up suddenly and moved quickly, going upstairs to his brothers room and almost barreling straight into him at the top of the stairs. Sam stumbled back for a moment and Dean had to grab at the handrail to keep from falling back down the stairs.

"Dean?" Sam asked, staring at his brother who was breathing heavily. Sam had redressed in the clothes he had been in yesterday and was about to obviously leave.

Dean narrowed his eyes at him, barely resisting the urge to grab at his shirt.

"I'm coming with you."

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	12. Chapter 12

"No you're not."

The words seemed to escape Sams lips before he even realized what either he or Dean had said.

But then he shifted and there it was, there was a hint of that stubborn teenager that refused to back down and had a will of steel. He could remember countless times either him or their parents arguing with Sam about something and god if he hadn't been the most stubborn bullheaded kid in existence.

It was more than a bit comforting to see that that kid was still there.

"I'm coming with you." Dean repeated, straightening himself, and dammit the younger sibling should never be taller than the older sibling. It went against nature and everything that was right with the world.

Sam just stared at him, stared down at him, and scowled. "No." he said firmly, pressing his lips together at the end as he pushed past Dean and started down the stairs.

Dean reached for him and grabbed at his arm, feeling the earth move out from under him as Sam reacted.

Apparently his brother had a history of being grabbed and had learned accordingly because for a moment Deans world turned as he saw the ceiling and then was laid out flat on the ground on his back.

"Sorry!" Sam gasped out, letting go of Deans arm that he had grabbed in response. He reached down to help Dean back to his feet. Dean shut his eyes tightly, shaking his head for a moment to get back on the right curve.

"You do that a lot?" Dean asked, moving his neck from side to side.

"Lots of things tend to grab me." Sam said softly, shaking his head. He suddenly seemed to remember what they had been talking about and straightened up. "And no, my answer still stands."

"You do remember that I'm your older brother, right?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow at him. "I can still kick your ass into submission Sam."

Sam just gave him a look, then sighed, shaking his head. His hand came up to run his fingers through his hair.

There was a whirl of motion and movement, before Dean could even realize what happened he was turned around, pushed hard against the wall by his own arm that was pulled back and shoved against him.

"So how's that for kicking my ass," Sam breathed out, right into his ear. "Big brother."

Sam let go of his arm and stepped back, a small almost smirk tugging at the ends of his lips. Dean turned around to face him, rubbing at his wrist and unable to keep a small bit of pride from coursing through him.

"Dean, you can't come." he said simply, the smile falling off his face. "Hunting is too dangerous for people, especially people who have no idea what they're doing."

Sam held his hand up at that, stopping Dean from firing back. "And I don't mean that as an insult, you just learned that the supernatural is real, you have no idea how to really fight back or how to defend yourself."

"Even if she's out of the hunt for years, mom has a better chance than you simply because she was in it once." Sam continued. "Dads a second only because he was a soldier, he knows how to fight and how to shoot a gun. Dean, you..." he trailed off, shaking his head. "If something happened to you, to any of you, I'd never forgive myself and I'm sure I'd be finding myself at a crossroads to fix it."

"A crossroads?" Dean repeated, trying to figure out what he meant by that. "Is that like...a specific place?"

"Nevermind, it's too hard to explain right now." Sam said, waving his hand once more. His phone buzzed and he looked down at it again, answering the text. "I really need to go, I'm sorry."

Not to be deterred Dean started to reach out to grab him but thought better of it, not wanting to get kicked in the ass a third time.

"Sam." he said lowly, letting all his pain, he'll admit it to himself, fear through that one word. It worked, Sam froze in place, slowly turning to look at him as Dean stared at him.

"You can't do this man." Dean told him. "You can't just...swing by every seven years, send a postcard here and there, and think that we can just accept that."

"Every second that I'm here, I'm painting a bigger and bigger target on you." Sam said, swallowing hard. "I took a big risk coming, let alone sleeping here."

"You're running on empty, maybe even less than that." Dean shot at him. "You can't just keep going like that or you're going to die either way."

Sam licked his lips and looked away, taking a deep breath. He looked down at his phone once more. Dean could see that his resolve was crumbling and he pressed on. Before he could, Sam spoke first.

"This is not the life where you get to retire at sixty-five, this is a life where I know I'm going to end up in an early grave, not even a grave, a pit with my body covered in salt and then burned." Sam told him. "This isn't a life, it's an occupation, it's a hazard, and most of all it's a burden. It's the biggest burden a human being can bare and there are times that I can't do it but I do." he took a deep breath. "Because I don't have any other choice. You do, you get to choose to stay out, you get to choose safety and a normal life."

"Yeah well you don't get to make that choice for me." Dean told him, stepping closer to him until they were mere inches away from one another. "Because my choice?"

"I'm going to help you carry that burden little brother."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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	13. Chapter 13

Sam glared at him, the effect was softened by the look of longing in his eyes before it disappeared. "I don't have time to argue with you."

Dean grinned at that. "Great! So if we can stop by my apartment so I can pack a bag I'll be good to go."

Sam just shot him a dry look. "That doesn't mean that I'm going to let you come."

"Its funny that you think I'm going to listen to you." Dean said with a smirk. "I'm coming Sam, whether you like it or not."

"Dean enough, I'm not playing this game anymore, I'm not entertaining this. You're not coming with me." Sam said firmly, turning to walk towards the door. "And that's final."

"Then I guess I'm just gonna have to drive after you in my car because I'm not about to be left behind." Dean said, lengthening his stride to match his brothers.

He could hear Sam breathe out in frustration and he turned around once more, glaring at Dean with a strange glint in his eyes.

Suddenly Dean felt his limbs lock up, freezing him in place. Against his will he stiffly turned around and made his way to the couch, sitting down on it.

"What the hell?" Dean managed to get out. "What the fuck?"

Sam stared down at him, a sad expression on his face. "I didn't just get visions from Azazel." he told him. "I got a few other things as well."

Dean stared up at him with wide eyes, trying to force his body to move to no avail. He had no control over his limbs and no matter what he tried, or how hard he tried, he couldn't break free from whatever Sam had put on him.

"I'm sorry, I really am." Sam said softly, staring down at the ground. He glanced towards the kitchen where, now that he was close enough, they could hear their parents arguing about something, unaware of what was happening in the living room.

Shaking his head Sam hesitated but then crossed over to one of the tables, grabbing a notepad and scribbling a few numbers on it.

"This is my number and another one belongs to a hunter called Bobby Singer." Sam told him, placing the paper on the couch next to Dean. Dean still couldn't move, just his eyes moving wildly as he tried to reach for Sam. He managed to get a twitch in his fingers but Sam looked up at him and Dean felt his hand being pushed back down to the couch like a weight had been dropped on it.

"I'm sorry." Sam repeated, stepping closer. He looked uncertain then, and so much damn older that Dean wanted to punch something, mostly him. "I just...I can't lose anymore people Dean. I can't. I can't lose mom and dad. And I certainly can't lose you, I have no idea what I'd do if I lost you."

A shudder went through Sam's body and before Dean could realize what he was doing Sam leaned in and pressed his lips to Deans forehead, like Dean had done to him when they were kids. He could feel Sam shaking and when he focused on that he managed to break free enough for his hand to snap up and grab at Sam's arm, trying to get him to stay.

Sam pulled back and Dean's hand was pushed back to the couch. Sam looked away but even in that split second Dean could see a hint of tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." was repeated for a third, and final time before Sam turned around. He dragged his arm over his eyes but then squared his shoulders, straightened himself, and walked on, through the door.

At the sound of the door closing Mary came into the room, eyes a bit puffy and red, quickly followed by John who looked the same.

As if their appearance broke the spell Dean breathed out and felt his entire body almost fall, as if the strings holding him in place were cut.

"Dean? Did...did Sam leave?" Mary asked, her voice wavering.

Not trusting himself to speak Dean nodded, hands curled into fists before his eyes went down to the note that Sam had left. He picked it up, staring at the numbers and committing them to memory.

"What do we do now?" John asked, a helpless tone to his voice that Dean hated to hear.

"I don't know." Mary said, burying her face in her hands.

Dean slowly stood up, crumbling the paper into a ball and putting it into his pocket alongside his cell phone. His jaw moved from side to side and he moved to get into the backyard of the house.

"I gotta make a call." he told his parents as he walked past them, hands shaking.

He gripped at the backyard porch, nails digging into the wood hard before he took his phone out and dialed the second number, heart thundering in his ears.

It took two and a half rings before a gruff voice said, "Singer Salvage."

"Bobby Singer, my name is Dean Winchester." Dean started. "I'm-"

"Sam's brother, goddamnit." Bobby interrupted, he was sure that he heard a glass being put down on the table. "Yeah he's told me all about you."

"Then I'm sure you know why I'm calling." Dean said, having no more desire or patience for pleasantries. "I want, I want to help Sam."

"Son, listen to me." Bobby started to say.

Before he could snap at Bobby to not call him son his phone was yanked from his hand. He whirled around to see his mom to bring it up to her ear.

"Bobby this is Mary Campbell, you owe me." she said curtly into the phone. The use of her maiden name and the tone of her voice made both him and John paused, glancing at one another.

Mary listened to whatever Bobby was saying with a displeased look on her face. "Well you promised me first." she told him. "And like I said Singer, you owe me."

She listened and nodded, a satisfied look appearing on her face. "Still in Sioux Falls? Good, we'll be there." she ended the call and handed Dean his phone back, stepping back so that she could look at the both of them.

"Both of you pack your bags and be ready for a hell of a fight." she told them. "We're going to Sioux Falls."

**I do not own Supernatural.**

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**The thing about Mary and Bobby is actually from Sam Smith (who plays Mary), she confirmed that Mary and our Bobby knew each other preseries.**


	14. Chapter 14

Dean took his own car back to his apartment to grab a few things, shoving them haphazardly into his duffel bag. He grabbed his chargers, spare clothes, and whatever cash he had in the apartment. Checking to make sure he had his wallet and credit card he went into his bedroom, sliding his bottom drawer on the nightstand open.

Reaching into it he slowly took out the knife he kept there. It had been a present from his dad once he moved out and started living on his own. He had called it a hunting knife, it was long and sharp enough to properly defend himself with if he had to.

He put it into the duffel bag as well and went to his kitchen, grabbing a few water bottles and snacks to tide himself over for the time being. Stepping back he looked around his apartment once more, having a sinking feeling about leaving it like this, before he turned and went downstairs.

He could hear is parents car, the old black Chevy impala that Dean had always loved, even before he went outside. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of her, still beautiful and gleaming in the sunlight almost blinding. Mary was in the driver's seat, she tended to drive a bit too fast and tough, and she waved at him.

Dean smiled at them and crossed over, leaning down to talk to them through the window John brought down.

"Your mom says that we're going to go straight there." John told him. "Five and a half hours if no traffic."

Dean nodded, taking a deep breath. "Guess we better get going." he said simply.

John nodded as well. "Sure you don't want to ride with us?"

"I'm sure." Dean confirmed. He patted the side of the car. "I'm ready." He walked away and got into his car, throwing his bag into the backseat. He backed out of the parking lot and watched his mom do the same, following her onto the road.

He felt his stomach tighten and he gripped at the steering wheel, trying to remain calm .

* * *

They didn't speak for a few minutes as she got them on the highway, tightening and loosening her grip on the steering wheel.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" John asked, finally breaking the silence. They had this conversation on and off for the past day, never able to really start talking about it, especially not with Sam and Dean inches away.

Now that they had a few hours alone in the car together, it was a perfect time to talk.

"No." Mary said simply, tightening her grip. "it's not something I ever wanted to talk about ever again.I wanted to get away from it and getting away from it...meant not talking about it."

"Seems like a pretty big thing not to talk about." John said, staring out the window but watching her reflection in the glass. "Supernatural monsters? Really?"

"Really." Mary said softly. "It's a more dangerous world out there than you know John, and I'm sorry that you have to be a part of it now."

John clenched his fists tightly before he reached out and took her hand in his, holding onto it tightly and entwining their fingers together.

Mary gripped back just as desperately, taking a deep breath.

"Did you know? About Sam?" John asked her, it had been the question that bothered him the most for the past night. He felt a wave of relief when Mary shook her head.

"I had no idea, not from the nightmares, not to this, not until he told us." she said softly. "If I'd have known, I would've done things a lot differently."

John nodded, squeezing her fingers. "This...Singer that we're going to." he said slowly. "Who is he?"

"Bobby Singers an old...I want to say friend, it's complicated." Mary said, searching for the right words to say. "Years back his wife got possessed by a demon and he managed to get rid of the demon but doing so killed his wife and he was thrust into the supernatural world. My family..." she shook her head. "We were a bit infamous in the hunters circles so I was sent to him, another hunter...Rufus I think, asked us to."

"I pretty much trained him up, he was a Vet like you so he knew how to fight and how to shoot a gun." Mary continued. "I just gave him the extra education, taught him how to kill certain monsters, and everything else in between. Taught him how to read between the lines, pointed him in the right direction, and last I heard he was doing more research than actual hunting."

"Research?"

"Lots of people can't really remember everything, there's a lot out there, so sometimes they need someone to call and learn about what they're hunting and how to kill it." Mary told him. "Or alibis, or a thousand other things."

"Alibis?" John asked, raising an eyebrow at that.

Mary gave him a wry grin. "Let's just say...hunting sometimes requires certain identifications to be used improperly and at times someone needs to pretend to be certain people of power."

Mary laughed at the look on his face. "Its not legal what hunters do." she told him. "There's a lot of loopholes they need to jump over and avoid, and a lot of times they get arrested."

John nodded slowly, trying to wrap his mind around it. "And you used to do all of this," he said.

"I didn't go impersonating that many people, we had a home base so we couldn't dare let it get back to us." Mary said. "But yeah, whenever I had to, I did."

John breathed out slowly, rubbing his thumb over her hand. "I...I don't know what to say." he said quietly. "I have...so many questions but I don't even know where to start."

"Just ask as they come to you, I'll answer whatever you want to know." Mary said, turning to smile at him for a moment before turning back to the road.

John tried to think about his next question, and he knew that it was a ridiculous question to ask but at the same time, it was bothering him. He was a man and a husband, he just needed to know.

"Who is Bobby Singer, really?" he asked, already feeling how ridiculous it was.

Mary glanced at him. "I just told you, he's a hunter I trained and as far as I remembered he's a researcher now."

John shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "Yeah but...what else?"

Mary was quiet for a moment before he realized she was shaking lightly. He looked at her and stared at her as she shook, biting her lip to stifle any laughter as she drove the car.

"Are you asking if there was something romantic between me and Bobby Singer?" she asked, laughter escaping her despite her attempts to control it.

John relaxed but nodded. "I just want to know." he defended.

At that Mary started to laugh out loud, bringing her knee up to guide the steering wheel as she wiped at her eyes. "Oh my god, no, there was nothing romantic happening between me and him." she told him, her voice taking on a teasing tone. "Besides, I already had my fella at the time."

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	15. Chapter 15

The rest of the drive was uneventful. They stopped once for gas and kept moving, the tension growing with each mile.

They finally passed the sign for Sioux Falls and Dean followed his mom through the town and out of it. He saw the sign for "Singers Salvage" and the almost cemetery-like atmosphere of ruined and abandoned cars.

The mechanic in him twitched in remorse and disgust but he firmly pushed it down, he had to focus on the important things.

His eyes lingered on what was the bones of what he was sure had once been a great car and he tightened his grip on his steering wheel, a small sound escaping him despite everything.

His mom parked in front of the house, it looked run down and old, almost as falling apart as the rest of the yard was. Mary got out of the car followed by John, Mary had a fond look on her face as she looked around and John looked around a bit hesitant.

Dean got out and caught his dads eyes and they shared a similar look. He took a deep breath and coughed, he was sure that he was going to need some sort of tetanus shot after this, even just breathing from the yard felt like he was inhaling pounds of dirt and dust.

Shaking his head and trying to clear his throat he followed his parents up the porch, Mary knocking on the door hard enough to make it shake in its frame.

Dean looked around as they waited, there were things carved into the wood of the house that made no sense to him and for god's sake this place looked like every single horror movies cabin where the serial killer lived and took their victims to.

All that was missing was a creepy dungeon where people were kept and tortured.

The door creaked open and out came what Dean could only assume was Bobby Singer. He was bearded and had an old battered cap. He was cleaning his hands and Dean really hoped that those stains were motor oil and not blood.

Based on the stains and how familiar he was with motor oil, he was starting to lean towards blood and it was turning his stomach.

"Mary." Bobby greeted, nodding a bit and tucking his handkerchief into his back pocket. A strange look appeared on his face before he gave a small smile, his features softening from it. "Hey."

"Bobby." Mary greeted with a tense nod. She looked at John. "This is John Winchester, my husband." John nodded tensely before she looked at Dean. "And Dean my son. And apparently you already know my other son Sam." that last bit was pointed and had a harsher tone to it.

Bobby sighed and turned back into the house, waving his hand to invite them in.

"Want a beer?" Bobby asked them, going into what Dean assumed was the kitchen. He shuffled in and took everything in, seeing the piles and piles of books and papers. There was an outdated computer on the table that he could make out under everything else. There was a line of phones attached to the wall and with every step he took he held his breath in the hopes that the creaks didn't mean that the floors were about to give out.

Bobby came back to them and handed them each a beer, John took his gingerly and didn't drink from it, just staring at the other man. Dean did the same, shifting from foot to foot as he tried to figure out how to start this.

Mary took her beer from him and without looking handed it to John. Stepping forward she brought her hand back and slapped Bobby hard enough for the sound to resonate through the entire house and make Dean and John jump.

Bobby blinked and slowly turned his head back to look at her, taking a deep breath. "Okay." he said slowly. "Mary-"

"You son of a bitch." Mary breathed out, just staring at him, hand half raised as if she was going to slap him again. "After everything I did for you, after everything I helped you with, you turned around and you took my son and did this."

"In all fairness, I didn't know that Sam was your son." Bobby told her. "And Sam came to me."

"Then you should've called the moment you realized." Mary told him, taking a step forward. Dean was a bit amused to see that Bobby had taken a step back in response. "And if you couldn't call you could've used a spell, you have plenty of them in here." she waved her hand around the room.

"Mary," Bobby started to say only for Mary to interrupt.

"No. You've been helping my son with hunting, you've been keeping secrets, you've been hiding him and you should have let me know!"

John put the bottles on the closest table, Dean quickly pushed them away from the side to keep them from falling. John reached for Mary and wrapped his arms around her.

"Mare c'mon, let's focus on Sam and try to-" John tried to calm her before she shot forward, grabbing Bobby by the shirt front.

"You stupid son of a bitch! That's my son!" Mary shouted at him, dragging him down until he was bent over enough to be eye to eye. "You had no right to take him and teach him anything! If anyone was going to teach him how to hunt it was going to be me!"

"Then why didn't you?" Bobby half snapped at her, wrenching free from her grip. "He found me and he came to me asking for help? Was I supposed to turn him away?"

"You should've sent him back home." Mary told him through gritted teeth. "You send him home to his family."

"Yeah well I tried." Bobby told her. "I told him to go home, Mary, he didn't want to. He didn't trust himself around any of you anymore. He didn't want anyone to get hurt."

"We're his family, we had a right to know and a right to help." Mary said. "He should've gone home."

"Well that's something you're going to have to tell him." Bobby said. "And you're in luck cause he's down in the dungeon."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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	16. Chapter 16

A beat of silence, for god's sake there was a dungeon in here and Sam was there for some reason.

"That was his big emergency?" Dean asked incredulously, feeling a rise of anger inside of him. It was either anger or his stomach was just churning. "To come here?"

Bobby just shot him a dry look. "We got a demon downstairs, high ranking one, and Sams interrogating it."

"Interrogating it...how?" John was the one to ask, fingers twitching slightly.

"The only way a demon understands, pain and lots of it." Bobby told him. He sighed and shook his head. "Lets just say...Sam knows his way around a knife."

Dean felt his stomach twist at that and immediately took a drink of his beer, barely even registering the slightly watered down taste. He wiped at his mouth and took a deep breath, chancing a glance at his parents.

Mary looked a bit grave but accepting, either she knew this was coming or was just rolling with the punches. John looked like Dean felt and Dean reached for the bottle on the table, handing it to him. John nodded gratefully and took a deep drink of his own.

Whatever they were about to say was cut off at the sound of boot clad shoes coming up stairs.

"Bobby I need more holy water so-" Sam's voice came before he came into the room and stopped at the sight of them, paling hard. "What are you three...how did you even know..."

Dean felt his throat tightened at the sight of his brother, or rather what was on his brother.

Because Sams arms and front was covered in blood, the only good thing was that it didn't seem that it was coming from him.

But on the other hand that went with the interrogation that Bobby had mentioned with the knife and Dean wasn't sure he wanted to know more.

"Bobbys an old friend." Mary said, coming forward and crossing her arms over her chest. "Sam. You can't just leave without us worrying and coming after you."

Sam closed his eyes and breathed out slowly, cracking his neck from side to side. "Mom." he said, reopening his eyes. "You guys being here is not safe and I can't be in a million places to protect you."

"I was a hunter, a bit out of practice but still a hunter." Mary reminded him. "And I was the best during my time."

"Okay." Sam said with a nod. "So why bring dad and Dean, no offense guys." he added.

"Okay, that's enough." John said coming forward. "Sam, we're here because we care about you and we want to help, in any way possible."

Sam let out a deep sigh, shaking his head and looking at Bobby.

Bobby shrugged. "I told you years ago that this was going to blow up in your face." he said. "I told you years ago to go back, or at least have some sort of contact with them. Now," he waved his hand over everyone. "Here is those repercussions I told you about."

"You're no help." Sam told him. He started to bring his hands up to his face but then stopped, staring down at the blood on them. "Okay. You guys are gonna have to wait because I have a job to finish downstairs."

"Great, I'll join you and retrain some of my reflexes." Mary said, reaching into her jacket and pulling out what looked like a machete. "Lets go."

John stared at her and then at the machete. "Mary...where were you hiding that?"

Mary patted her jacket. "This baby holds a lot of secrets." she said with a smile. She turned to Sam and nodded. "Lead the way, the dungeon is new so I'm not sure where it is."

"Mom." Sam started to say only to stop and let out a deep breath, when he spoke, his voice was annoyed to all hell. "You know what, fine. Let's do this." he said waving his arm and leading her to the stairs. "Mom and son torture a demon, sounds great. Let's give the demon more things to mock me about."

"We can catch up on a lot of things." Mary told him, patting his shoulder as she smiled over her shoulder at John and Dean.

Dean watched them go downstairs before he spoke. "I have no idea what's going on anymore. But I know I'm not sober enough for it." he drank deeply once more.

"Welcome to the hunting life son." Bobby said, nodding at the couch. "You two can take a seat, they'll be a while and I might as well get you caught up on Sam. God knows I can use someone to vent to about him."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**

**I know the humorous bit didn't really fit in but I couldn't help myself.**


	17. Chapter 17

Bobby let out a heavy sigh as he let himself fall back into his seat, groaning slightly. He reached back to rub at his lower back and then took his bottle, drinking it slowly. "It's been a long seven years." he finally said.

"You don't say." John said, a tone to his voice that Dean didn't recognize and didn't comment on, he already felt like his dad was just barely holding himself back and he didn't want to be what set him off.

If Bobby noticed, he didn't care, and continued on. "Sams a good kid." he finally said. "He's a good kid with a big heart, he doesn't want anything to happen to people and he's willing to put himself on the cutting board if it means someone else wouldn't have to. Sharp as a whip and just as fast in everything else he does."

He snorted then. "But he's also one of the stupidest people I've ever met. Stubborn as all hell, I've met demons that I can bend more than I can bend him."

John's hand was shaking Dean noted, staring at his dad's hand that was curled around the bottle of beer. His knuckles were white and shaking.

Bobby let out another deep breath before he reached into his desk and opened a drawer, pulling out an aged yellow envelope. He dug through it for a moment and then threw some pictures onto the desk, the part closest to them.

Dean got up and took the pictures, just staring at them for a moment. Sam was staring at the camera as well, a slightly pissed off look on his face that Dean was familiar with, and he looked the same as when he had been seventeen.

Meaning that this picture had been taken close to the time that Sam had ran away.

Going back to the couch Dean sat closer to his dad so that as he looked through the pictures so could he. There weren't that many but it showed Sam, that was the important part. It showed him growing up, becoming more and more guarded in every picture.

And becoming more and more tired and stressed looking as well.

Sometimes there was another person in the picture, a blonde haired girl that looked close to his age. Sometimes she was pressed up against him and other times she was as far away as she could be from Sam but close enough to be in the picture.

The last picture was the most startling. It was older and worn, the edges torn and dogeared.

It was a picture of Mary when she was a teenager, holding a rifle of some sort and grinning at the camera. Her hair was in pigtails and she was wearing an oversized coat that almost looked like a mens jacket.

"Years back I got yanked into the supernatural world in the worst way possible." Bobby told them. "I got saved by a hunter and when they saw, apparently for some reason I have no clue, potential the hunter called in a favor and called the Campbells to whip me into shape."

"The Campbells are hunting legends, it's rare for it to be so ingrained into a family and they had a history, going back generations and generations." Bobby said. "I have no clue when it started but I do know there were hunters on the Mayflower."

He sighed, taking his cap off and running his fingers through his hair. "They sent Mary to train me up, teach me the ways, and after that I just started doing it on my own. Hunted for a while and damn good at it but my better side was researching. Always had a knack for it so I started to do that more and more. Mary even gave me some of the books that started me off."

Bobby drummed his fingers on the desk as he thought. "Eight years ago, I got an email from someone wanting answers." he finally said. "Not just wanting but desperate for answers, said they managed to find me by digging deep and catching a hint of my name."

"The email gave me vague details, dreams that were coming true and a couple other things. I needed more information and I told him as such." Bobby continued. "Finally the kid, and I mean kid, broke and told me everything. I think he was just so desperate that if anyone pressed he would've broke."

Johns fingers were twitching as well, Dean noted; not sure if he should try to remain close to him to comfort him or move away so that he wasn't in the way once John exploded.

"I told him the truth, psychic powers and abilities. I didn't want to go into too many details, there wasn't that much of a need to let the kid know about everything that went bump in the night." Bobby kept going. "But then the nightmares started to take a turn for the worse, he started to not only see death and murder, but by monsters too. Vampires, wendigos, rugarus, everything. And it was driving him insane."

Bobby took a pull from his drink, letting out a deep breath. "The breaking point was one more dream that he had, and I ain't going to go into detail because that's his secret, but he saw you," he gestured at the both of them. "And Mary, being tortured and killed. Because of him."

"There's lots of creatures out there and there ain't no loyalty." Bobby told them. "No such thing as us against them, its every being for themselves no matter what. And sometimes, they target their own."

"There's a wide group of beings, some part witches, some part weres, some part pagan gods, that prefer psychics. Something about their soul being drenched in fear and pain that make it all the better for them to be eaten or absorbed or used." Bobby said. "I once hunted a vampire that preferred the blood of psychics mainly because it gave him a moment's glance into the future and he got drunk with that power."

"Sam saw you guys get targeted because of him." Bobby told them. "So he panicked and ran. Ran hard and ran fast, barely remembering to keep in contact with me."

"I came and took him in, what else could I have done?" Bobby asked, shrugging. "Tried to calm him down but to no avail. When the time came that the monster was going to get to you three passed I almost managed to convince him to go back." he sighed. "Unfortunately, he got possessed by a demon."

Dean stiffened, remembering the man, the demon he corrected himself, at the warehouse. The black eyes, how Sam had killed him.

"What happened to him?" Dean managed to ask.

"Demon took him for a ride, took a couple weeks to catch up with him and get the demon out." Bobby said. "But the damage was done and Sam...the demon told him the truth. I'm guessing he's told you about the demon named Azazel." he waited for the two men to nod. "Demon told him all about him, told him all about what he had done and what he had planned. Used it to torture Sam mentally and try to break him, demons are good at that."

"That really was what cemented it, Sam knew exactly what the demons were planning for him and he refused to let it be brought back to you guys. He wanted to take care of the demons first. But that's not something you can do easily."

"Now this is something you need to understand too, its something Sma had no choice in learning." Bobby said. "Once you're in the hunting life, there's no getting out, there is no real retirement, there is no end to this that doesn't end in blood and flames."

"You really think I give a damn about that right now?" John asked, his voice low and dangerous. "I'm here for my son, I don't care about anything else."

"'I'm here for my brother." Dean told him. "Anything else that needs to be done is just collateral."

Bobby stared at them for a long moment before he let out a deep breath and got up, taking two journals and handing one each to Dean and John. "Then I suggest you two start reading."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	18. Chapter 18

Her dad always told her, once a hunter always a hunter.

She tried to ignore it, tried to ignore that itch that was under her skin. She was planning to live a normal life and that meant no more hunting. None whatsoever.

Excluding those few times she went out to hunt in secret in that time between Dean being born and becoming pregnant with Sam. She couldn't ignore the signs and so went out for a quick hunt.

But after Sam had been born she couldn't bring herself to even look at the news for a while and after some time those itches started to fade away but never disappeared. She just got better at ignoring it.

But staring down at a table of instruments she felt those same itches come back in full force and she ignored how...right it felt and how when she picked up a pair of syringes how much it was settling in.

"Have to admit, never got the chance to do this with a demon." Mary said, watching Sam pour a silvery liquid over a machete. "Mostly on vampires back in the day."

"It's pretty similar, just instead of dead man's blood." Sam said handing her a flask of holy water and nodding at the syringes. "We use holy water."

"Aww, ain't this cute." the demon sneered at them. "You couldn't get me to talk so you went and got mommy."

The both of them ignored her as Mary carefully started to fill the syringes with holy water. "I recommend using this under the nails." she told him, watching his eyebrows raise. "Those delicate places hurt the most."

Sam hummed as he took one of the syringes from her, pressing down to get rid of some of the air. "I tended to go for the eyes mostly." he told her. "Push the needle in right and it's kinda like a mock lobotomy."

"Nail beds and under the nails for me." Mary said, wriggling her fingers at him. "Never really liked the eye stuff. Although," she mused. "If we're going the lobotomy route the back of the ear angling to the brain."

Sam let out a small laugh at that, shaking his head. "If dad could see you now." he said softly.

"I was a different person before I met him." Mary said, playing with her wedding ring for a moment. "Feels like a lifetime ago."

"Feels like forever that all I was worried about was my tests and dreams." Sam said softly. He sighed, "Let's focus on the demon and then we can drink."

"Deal." Mary said with a nod, the both of them armed with syringes.

The demon was laughing at them, tugging at the silver chains that kept her tied down. "If you couldn't make me talk why do you think that mommy will-" she started to ask with a sneer when Mary reached out and yanked her head down to reveal the back of her neck. Without waiting she inserted the needle into the back of her neck, right into the bones were pressed out into the skin, and pushed down the holy water.

The demon screamed and trashed, trying to break free of Mary's grip but she just tightened it, curling her fingers hard into her hair to keep her in place until the syringe was empty.

Using the hair as leverage Mary yanked her head back to look into her black eyes with a smile.

"Mommy has a lot more ideas after a long time of thinking." she told her. "And I'm more than excited to be able to try them all out."

Sam just stared at her, unsure of what he was feeling at the moment.

"Well," he finally said. "That kinda explains a couple things about me now."

Mary winked at him and held the empty syringe to him. "Just get your questions ready." she told him. "Cause I'm going to get you your answers."

Sam stared at her and then smiled, nodding and handing another syringe.

* * *

Dean rubbed at his eyes and glanced up towards the direction his mom and brother had gone, it felt like they were gone for hours in a dungeon, a goddamn dungeon, to apparently torture a demon.

And the weirdest part was just how normal mom and Sam were acting like this was just another day for them in what they were doing. As normal as him going to work on some cars, it's how they were acting.

Bobby had gone to answer a few calls in his kitchen, leaving just the two of them alone. He looked at his dad, who seemed to be completely enveloped in the journal he was reading, eyes slightly narrowed.

"Dad?" Dean called out softly, breaking his dad out of his trance as he looked up at him. John grimaced when he realized the position he had been sitting in for the entire time, straightening up and feeling his back crack as a result of it. "You okay?"

John sighed and rubbed at his eyes, closing the book and leaning back in his seat. "Not really." he admitted. "I always thought I knew everything about Mary, we never really kept secrets from one another. And then after what happened with Sam. I..." he shook his head. "It's not like we didn't think about him, we thought about him all the time and it scared the living crap out of me."

"A part of me wasn't sure what to think, and my mind went everywhere when it came to where Sam was." John continued. "I thought the worst things and sometimes I thought maybe it was better that Sam would be...dead than anything horrible happening to him. But at the same time I wanted to know what happened to him. And now...we know and it's not something I could ever have thought of, not to mention the fact that apparently your mom knew about this kind of a thing and never told me."

He glanced towards the kitchen, a somewhat dark look appearing on his face when he saw Bobby and looked away. "It's just a lot to take in."

John looked world weary and then looked up at Dean, a small smile on his face despite everything. "Anything you're hiding from me that I should know about?"

Dean thought about it for a moment and then smiled back at his dad. "I got a tattoo." he said, tugging his sleeve up to show a small swallow on the top of his arm.

John barked out a laugh at that, reaching out to touch it. "Son, your mom and I both have tattoos." he said, a slight teasing tone to his voice. "Seeing as all four of us have tattoos now, it can kinda be considered a family tradition."

Dean blinked at that. "You guys have tattoos?" he asked, a bit distressed at that, trying to remember if he'd ever seen a hint of them.

"Yep, show you later." John said, smiling and some of the tension leaving him. "Your mom and I decided to get some over the years, we actually had some before you guys were born." His thumb rubbed over the swallow. "Why the bird though?"

Dean shrugged. "I was drunk and when I woke up I was just really happy that it wasn't something worse." he looked at it and then pulled his sleeve back down. "I like it though."

John nodded, smiling. "The first ones a gateway, I got one and then just kept getting them. Same with your mom." he glanced over Deans shoulder and brightened, smiling softly.

Turning around Dean felt his stomach drop at the sight of his mother and brother covered in blood, more so than Sam had been before. Mary had a small satisfied smile on her face and Sam looked slightly intrigued and even a bit proud.

"What are we talking about?" Mary asked, flicking her head to the side to push her hair back without touching it.

"Just a couple of things, we were given reading." John said holding his book up. He stared at the both of them. "How did...how did it go?"

"Good. We got what we needed." Sam said with a nod. "Lets get some lunch and we can talk."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**

**Dean having a tattoo of a swallow is actually a reference to the original idea of Dean having tattoos when the series started. There is an old picture of Dean having that tattoo in fact.**


	19. Chapter 19

"You have a tattoo?" Sam asked in amusement, a smile tugging at his lips. "Why'd you get a tattoo?"

"Cause I was drunk and I don't make good choices." Dean said rolling his eyes as he stirred at the stove. "Why does anyone get tattoos?"

"I got mine for protection, most people get it to decorate their bodies." Sam told him. "And our parents have them?"

"Yeah I know, right?" Dean said with a scoff. "Them having tattoos it's like...goes against the laws of being a parent."

Sam made a face at that and Dean had to laugh, shaking his head.

"You got more than one?" he asked, gesturing to Sams chest where he'd seen the star one.

"It's not as cool as your bird but yeah, I got one more." Sam said, putting the knife he had been using to chop tomatoes to lift his shirt up and pull his jeans slightly down to reveal what looked like what was supposed to be a language that Dean couldn't make out. It was short enough to just be on his hip and hidden by fabric.

"What's it mean?" Dean asked, refraining from reaching out to touch it.

"Cloaking spell." Sam said letting everything fall back into place and picking the knife back up. "Keeps me out of view of certain things. Witches, angels, and other beings."

Dean shook his head once more, turning the stove off and picking the pan up, pouring the sauce over the pasta. "Yeah I'm just going to stick with my bird."

"You should, it's a really good tattoo." Sam said, a hint of laughter in his voice, finishing the salad and putting it on the table. "What do you think mom and dad have?"

"Ask 'em, I'm sure they'll tell you." Dean said, starting to put the plates on the table. Like everything else in the house it was a bit wobbly and uneven but got the job done. "Bobby showed us some pictures he had of you."

"Oh yeah, those." Sam said with a slight grimace. "He took a few pictures every few months, said he wanted to have a recent picture if I went missing that wasn't an arrest picture."

Deans eyebrows raised. "You were arrested?" he asked, not sure to be horrified or impressed.

"In my defense, one time it was a shifter that looked like me and the other time was the wrong place at the wrong time type." Sam said, shaking his head. "Thankfully I was Sam Wesson at the time, otherwise you guys might've been contacted."

"Pretty sure if we found out that you were arrested for something mom and dad would've freaked but at least we'd know you were alive." Dean pointed out.

Sam obtained a pained look on his face. "I'm sorry, I should've been in contact," he said. "I don't know how many more times to apologize."

Dean shrugged. "Depends on how many times you think you need to," he said. "But anyway, who was the blonde girl in one of the pics?"

"Which blonde girl, I know a few."

"Player Sammy." Dean said winking at him before going to get the pictures from the other room. He grabbed it and brought it back, showing him.

Sam glanced at it. "Her names Jo, Jo Harvelle, she's another hunter, daughter of a pair of hunters." he told him. "We sometimes pair up on hunts and work together, nothing else."

"Nothing else?" Dean said, nudging at Sam's arm until he smacked at it. "You can tell me Sammy."

"Nothing else." Sam repeated. "I'm not blushing virgin Dean but there's also no room in my life for any romance."

"Taking a girl to, I don't know, stake a vampire in the heart, sounds pretty romantic to me." Dean said, putting the pictures onto the counter.

"You don't kill a vampire with a stake to the heart, you chop its head off." Sam tells him. "And as romantic as it sounds, you're not really in the mood if the vampires use you as a blood bag."

Dean blanched at that, shaking his head. "Has that happened to you?" he asked, not sure if he wants to know the answer.

"Not a blood bag but I've had vampires feed on me once or twice." Sam said. "It's not as nice as the movies make it look."

"You've just lived it all, haven't you Sammy." Dean said, reaching out to clasp Sam's shoulder and squeeze. Sam just smiled at him, not yet moving to shake his hand off.

"Maybe not all but a lot of it."Sam said, looking at the table. "I think we're almost done here."

Dean nodded and finished placing the pasta on the plates as well. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure." Sam said, glancing at him. "You can ask me anything."

"Are you happy?" Dean asked him. "With everything that's on your shoulders and everything you're doing, are you happy?"

Sam hesitated, he hesitated for a few moments too long before he spoke. "I'm happy that I'm with you guys again." he finally said. "Let's eat."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


	20. Chapter 20

After lunch Sam took Dean to the back of Bobby's house, setting up a row of rusted cans on the edge of a fence. He then handed Dean a shotgun which Dean just stared at for a few moments.

"You ever shoot a gun before?" Sam asked, coming back to his side.

"Only a BB gun." Dean told him, turning the gun over in his hands. "I mean, I know the whole point, aim, shoot, but that's it."

Sam smiled slightly and wrapped his hands around Deans wrists, manipulating him around until he was holding the shotgun properly. He used his knee to bring the shotgun up towards his eyes.

"You just put this piece in the back in the middle of the other two in front." he told him. He moved Deans shoulders around so that his shoulder was pressed into the back of the shotgun. "There's going to be recoil so you have to be able to absorb it."

"And the little guns?" Dean asked, shifting himself to get a bit more comfortable. "Same recoil?"

"Not as much but still plenty." Sam said. "Makes the wrists hurt to all hell at the end of the day."

Shaking his head Dean pressed his feet into the ground, bringing the shotgun up again, putting everything into place like Sam told him to, the back of it pressed into his shoulder.

"Alright, so just shoot the cans?" Dean asked, ignoring the discomfort in his shoulder.

"Just shoot them, if you can't shoot an intimate object, you can't shoot a moving target." Sam said. "Just try your best."

Dean nodded, trying to put everything in order like Sam told him to. Taking a deep breath he lined it up with the cans and then pressed on the trigger, shooting it and immediately slamming it against his shoulder.

Swearing he brought the gun down and rubbed at his shoulder, groaning and gritting his teeth. When he looked up at the cans he swore again, he had missed them all completely.

Next to him, Sam was laughing, shaking his head and grinning. "Nice try." he told him. "And it's okay, it's hard to do it the first time."

"Yeah, yeah." Dean muttered, bringing the shotgun back up, trying to get everything into place. Sam reached out and corrected it, moving the gun and putting his leg between Deans legs to move them apart.

"You're thinking too much, just focus on the targets." Sam told him. "Clear your mind and just shoot."

Letting another deep breath out, Dean moved into place again, pressing the trigger. This time the recoil was expected and didn't hurt as much, and the bullet hit the side of the can but at least it hit.

"You're doing better, just keep trying." Sam said. "That's the thing with everything, keep trying. After this we're doing knife work."

"Wouldn't mind using the knife right now instead of this." Dean said, rubbing at his shoulder once more. "What are we going to do with that?"

"Knife throwing and moving onto machete uses." Sam told him. "We got logs for you to practice on so you can get into the swing of things, literally."

Remembering what Sam had said about vampires, that you chopped their heads off, he couldn't help but shiver slightly at the implications.

But it was necessary, it had been discussed over lunch that John and Dean were going to get the speedrun of training to become hunters. Mary looked like she had swallowed a lemon at that and Sam had trouble looking at any of them, but it was a decision that neither of them were budging on.

Mom and dad were inside reading up, Mary was catching up on the things that had changed over the last few years, and giving John the sparknotes version of everything.

Shaking his head Dean brought the gun back up, aiming, and pulling the trigger, gritting his teeth against the recoil.

Inside the house Mary glanced outside at the sound of gunshots, feeling John flinch next to her with each one.

It's been so long that something happened to trigger him like this that she had actually forgotten about it.

"Want me to find some earmuffs or something for you?" she asked, turning back to him.

John looked pale, hands trembling as he gripped at the book. He swallowed hard and used his arm to wipe the sweat off of his brow.

"No." he managed to get out. "I'm fine, just need to-" he stopped and closed his eyes when another shot went off, shaking hard. "-get used to it."

Mary wrapped her arm around him, pressing close into him. "I'm sorry." she said quietly, reaching out to entwine their fingers together. He gripped back at her tightly, taking a deep breath.

Bobby came over holding a glass of something, it didn't matter what, it was alcoholic and strong and that was all that John needed. He took it with a shaking hand and half drained the glass.

"Sam told me you were in Vietnam." Bobby said. "PTSD?"

"Yeah." John said lowly, gripping at Marys hand tightly, she gripped back just as much. "Went to a therapist a while back but now-" he flinched at another shot. "Didn't really have this before."

He swallowed the rest of the drink, slowly breathing out, steeling himself as another gunshot rang. "I just gotta get used to being in this again."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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	21. Chapter 21

Dean blamed it on one thing and one thing only, that he wanted to know more of his brother and everything that he had gotten into and learned in the past seven years.

That being said, he could've phrased his question a hell of a lot better.

Sam was looking at him weirdly, the knife he had been sharpening had been forgotten for a moment.

"You want to know what?" he asked, finally breaking the somewhat tense silence that had fallen over them.

Dean shifted a bit uncomfortably but didn't look away, he had already said it so he wanted to know.

"You're the one who said that you've been with girls." he shot at him, defending himself. "I wanna know how many."

"Why is that important exactly?" Sam asked, putting his knife down and just staring at him. "We have a lot bigger things to be focused on here Dean."

"Yeah well, I'm not getting any better with this knife tossing thing." Dean said, case in point he arched back once more and threw the knife, flicking his wrist like Sam had told him. The side of the knife hit the tree trunk and fell to the ground. "So let's talk, its guy talk Sam, brother talk, catching up on everything we've done."

Sam let out a deep breath, glancing at the fallen knife. Slowly it rose into the air and made its way back into Sam's outstretched hand. Dean watched him move the knife with his mind, each time he did it it became less and less weird to see.

"Probably a lot less than you seem to be thinking." Sam finally told him, and Dean would never admit it but that made a knot loosened inside of his chest. "Not trying to keep track but if I put a number to it...maybe five?"

"You're not sure?" Dean asked, taking the knife back from him and trying to get into the right position again, moving his wrist up and down a few times to get used to the feeling.

Sam was quiet for a moment. "My first time, with a guy and a girl, was when I was possessed by the demon. I don't count either of them." he told him. "It wasn't...consensual, at least on my mental part."

Dean had been in the middle of throwing the knife but fumbled, choking and whirled around to face his brother. "What?" he managed to get out.

Sam shrugged. "I was...seventeen? Eighteen? When the demon possessed me." he said. "Demons don't give a damn about age and consent, the majority revel in debauchery and sin, and sex was one of it. It possessed me and it wanted sex and everything else and it did whatever it wanted to. I was awake and watching, trying to break free, but it was like...punching at a brick wall, only hurting yourself."

"Sammy." Dean whispered in a broken voice, he had no clue what to say to that, or even what to do.

Sam lifted the knife but into the air from the ground once more and took it. "After that I avoided sex for a while but eventually I kinda just...did it? I was with another hunter and we were drinking and he just leaned over and kissed me and-"

"Wait, he?" Dean injected, not sure why that was the part he was focusing on. He felt a rush of something like fire erupt in his chest, he couldn't really name it, and try as he might, he couldn't ignore it. "You mean you've been with guys? How many?"

"The five I mentioned included guys and girls." Sam said dryly, raising an eyebrow at him. "And yeah, he kissed me and we ended up having sex." he shrugged. "It was good, we didn't stay exclusive but if we met up we'd have drinks and then have sex again. Was kinda bummed out when he died on a hunt."

Dean nodded slowly, trying to wrap his mind around everything that Sam had just said in the last five minutes, especially the part when he had been possessed. Swallowing hard he crossed the distance and wrapped his arms around him tightly, just holding onto his brother.

Sam tensed for a moment before he relaxed, bringing his arms up as well and wrapping them around Dean. "Dean, I'm fine." he told him. "I can't say that I'm one hundred percent over it but I'm getting there."

"I just...I just wish..." Dean trailed off, moving to just press his forehead against Sam's shoulder and he hated how easily he could do it now. "I just wish you didn't have to go through that...or that I had been there with you."

Sam moved enough to rub at Deans back with one hand, breathing in deeply. "Kinda wish that you were with me too." he said quietly. They just held onto one another for a few more moments before Sam slowly pulled back. "Keep throwing."

Dean bit back whatever else he wanted to say, he wasn't even remotely close to finished talking about that trauma, but obediently took the knife from Sam once more, moving to get back into position again.

"You sleep with a lot of guys Sammy?" he asked, throwing the knife and moving his entire body this time. The sharp end did hit the tree but it didn't stick and he cursed at it as it fell to the ground again.

"Again Dean, five in total." Sam reminded him, leaning back against the table he had everything else on. "But if you want the demographics, three guys, two girls."

"Sounds like someone got a preference." Dean said, holding his hand out for another knife.

"More like a healthy fear of ensuring that no one gets pregnant." Sam said, rolling his eyes. "Not sure where I land but it's mainly guys. Does it matter?"

"Of course not Sammy." Dean said almost immediately, making a face at the thought of it even mattering. "I just want to know."

He wasn't even sure why he wanted to know, he could chalk it up to being the older brother and therefore protective over his little brother, wishing that he had been there to protect him and watch out for him like he should've been.

"You seeing anyone now?" the words slipped out before he could even think of stopping them.

Sam let out another breath. "There's no real dating in the hunting life." he told him. "But...I guess kinda? If we meet up it usually ends with sex."

"Guy or girl?"

"Girl." and for some reason that was a bit of a relief as well, that it was a girl currently touching Sam.

"Is it that Jo girl?" Dean asked, remembering the pictures from before.

Sam laughed at that. "No, hell no." he said, shaking his head. "We had sex once in the heat of a moment, literally because we were under a sex pollen spell from a witch, but that's it. Jo's..." he searched for the right words. "Jo's just not my type."

"So who is it, another hunter?" Dean asked, narrowing his eyes at his target on the tree, he wanted to get it right just once. "And what is your type?"

Sam hesitated. "Not really a hunter." he said slowly. "She's hard to explain." It wasn't clear if he was avoiding the second question or just didn't have an answer, Dean ignored it for now.

"Well what's her name?" he asked, shifting his body and bringing his arm back.

Sam sighed. "Ruby." he told him. "Her name's Ruby."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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	22. Chapter 22

Truth be told,, Dean couldn't stop thinking about the Ruby chick.

He wondered what she looked like, Sam probably had her picture on his phone and that made his stomach churn slightly. She was no doubt also a hunter so that meant she was a hell lot better at weapons than he was.

She was probably as tough as nails, alcohol swinging out of a woman. If Sam kept having sex with her she to be something amazing.

And it was normal, completely normal. Sam and her most likely had similar histories and were hunters and partners together and the sex was most likely amazing and-

"Dean what the hell is happening to your face?"

Dean blinked, breaking out of his thoughts. He looked at his brother and then the book he was supposed to be reading, he'd been on this page for more than a few minutes.

"What?" Dean asked a bit defensively.

"Your face was being twisted in a million ways right now." Sam told him. "What the hell are you thinking about?"

Making a face Dean turned away, trying to refocus on the book. "Nothing."

"Sure looks like a hell lot of nothing." Sam said, shaking his head, he brought his arms up to stretch them then.

The movement caught Dean's eyes and they followed Sams arms, eyeing the muscles that strained as they stretched.

Sam was strong, really strong. he had been able to pick up and grab at him, shoving him into a wall, and Dean wasn't small himself.

Meaning that he could probably pick Ruby up and hold her, either against the wall or just up inn the air, when they'd fuck.

Dean shifted in his seat, trying to force his attention back to the book to no avail, all he could think about was Ruby.

How serious were they? Were the rules different for hunters? Would Sam ever bring her so they could meet her? Was it just sex or was this the hunters version of being in a serious committed relationship?

"Okay you're thinking so loud that I'm getting a headache." Sam complained, rubbing at his temple. "And I don't think Intro to Latin is that consuming."

"There is no way you can read my mind." Dean shot at him, panic shooting through him suddenly at the possibility. "Can you?"

"I'm not a mind reader, that wasn't one of Azazel's powers given." Sam said rolling his eyes. "And I don't need to be telepathic, it's literally all over your face." Singing he set his own book down and looked at Dean. "What are you thinking about?"

Chewing on the inside of his cheek Dean decided to come clean, like a band-aid, rip it off. "Ruby." he confessed.

Sam raised an eyebrow at that. "Ruby." he repeated. "Why?"

"I don't know, this is kinda your first real girlfriend, you didn't have one before you left, so its kinda a big deal." Dean started to ramble, stopping when he heard Sam laughing.

"She's not my girlfriend." Sam told him, smiling and shaking his head. "Ruby's complicated but on a physical level, its only sex."

Dean wasn't sure if that was better or not but it did loosen some sort of worry inside of him. "You don't date?"

"Not her." Sam said, rolling his eyes. "Or at all, dating's not really a thing hunters do."

"Okay." Dean said, nodding. "So whats Ruby like then?"

"Ruby's hard to explain." Sam said looking away. "She's not a hunter, not really, but she knows how to handle herself."

"Alright King of Evasion." Dean shot at him. "Tell me about her, not as a non-hunter, just her."

Sam let out a small breath. "There's not much to say." he said, rubbing at the back of his neck. "She hard headed, stubborn, and sometimes a pain in my ass." he said. "I hate her as much as I tolerate her and that's it."

A snort caught their attention, turning their heads they saw Bobby come into the room, dropping another stack of books on the desk.

"How long were you there?" Sam asked, a small but of worry in his voice.

"Long enough to hear you two gossiping like two schoolgirls." Bobby shot at him. "Sams leaving out a bit part about Ruby, seems like he does that a lot on purpose."

"Bobby." Sam warned, voice low.

"Shut it." Bobby half snapped at Sam before turning to Dean. "He hates admitting it but I have no problem. Ruby's a demon."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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	23. Chapter 23

"Sam is doing what with a demon?" Mary half shouted, eyes wide as she stared at the others in front of her. "Sam!"

Sam was stubbornly refusing to look at them, glaring at a spot on the wall instead. "It's not that big a deal." he said, repeating himself again.

"Not that big a deal? It's a demon!" Mary was still almost shouting. "How can you even think about trusting it enough to have sex with it?"

Whatever Sam was about to say, his cell phone vibrating cut him off. He glanced down at his screen, lips pressing together.

"Let me guess, that's Ruby." Bobby said dryly, sipping his drink.

Sam glared at him but didn't say anything, pressing a button to lock his phone and sliding it back into his pocket.

"You didn't have to tell them that." Sam said to him.

Bobby snorted at that. "Again, I told you that consorting with a demon is a bad idea, you won't listen to me, maybe you'll listen to them."

"Okay so, it's not that big a deal." Sam said once more. "Its not even a partnership or anything like that, its just sex."

"Sex with a demon." Mary corrected him. "Sex with one of those things that we're supposed to be hunting, not...screwing around with!"

Sam opened his mouth to say something but stopped when his phone vibrated once more. He didn't move for a moment but then reached into his pocket, turning his phone on to look at the message. He didn't answer it, just sliding it back into his pocket.

"It is her, isn't it?" Mary demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

Sam sighed. "Yes." he finally said. "She just messaged me that she's in town and would like to meet. That's it."

"She's a demon Sam. You can't trust demons." Mary said. "Why did you...how did this even start? When did you start to think that its okay to have sex with a demon?"

Sam worked his jaw from side to side for a moment. "Ruby was there for me when I needed help the most. After Azazel and everything he did and everything that happened because of him." he said tensely. "She hid that she was a demon at first but then she showed me the truth. She revealed herself to me because she wanted me to trust her."

"And just like that you trust demons." Mary simplified. "Just like that, because she told you she was a demon and of course you can trust her."

Sam shot her a look. "There's a lot more that I'm not getting into." he said evenly, fingers flexing a few times. "But yes, I don't trust her, not entirely. But I trust her enough to sometimes work with her."

"And have sex with her." Dean couldn't help but add, not sure why that part was bugging him the most.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Things happened. I got drunk and in a low place, she was there and she helped me. That's how it started, and I'm not getting into anymore details about it."

"But why do you trust her, what's so convincing about a demon that makes you trust her enough to even go there?" Mary asked.

Sam sighed and reached into his side pocket, pulling out the knife that he had called a Kurdish knife before. "Because she gave me this." he told them. "This was hers, she was using it to protect herself from other demons, because she was essentially against a vast majority of them they were after her. This is the only demon killing knife that I know of in existence. And she gave it to me."

"I don't trust her, not completely." Sam said, adding the last part. "I trust her partly. She gives me information, she helps me." he looked at Dean. "She's the one that told me about the demon that had kidnapped you and found out exactly where you were."

"You don't have to like her or trust her or anything." Sam told them, taking his phone out. "But the very least, she's not like the other demons that are out there."

With that he left the room, turning his phone back on and going outside to answer his texts.

"I don't trust her." Bobby said after a moment, shaking his head. "Not in the slightest. I don't give a damn what Sam says, a demon is a demon. Ain't no way she'll just help him from the goodness of her vessels heart."

"Me too." Mary said, hands shaking slightly as she took a deep breath. Dean stared at both of them before looking down at the ground again, trying to figure out the mess of emotions coursing through him.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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	24. Chapter 24

Dean wasn't sure how much time passed but ultimately he got tired of listening to everyone arguing about this Ruby chick, who was apparently a demon, and Sam. He shared a semi helpless look with his dad, he was just as lost as he was, and then got up, going to the back where Sam had gone.

He stopped a few feet away, watching his brother as he spoke on the phone, trying not to spy on him but at the same time, wanting to know what was going on.

"No, I told you, I can't." Sam said into the phone, shoulders looking tense and firm. "There's too much happening, I can't just leave."

He listened to whatever Ruby was saying on the other end. "Yes I do understand the risk you're taking but I can't, it's my family."

If anything his shoulders got tighter. "Stop bringing it back to him." and Dean was taken aback at how Sam hissed that. "It has nothing to do with him."

Whatever Ruby said in response to that, it seemed to make him angrier. "Enough, end of discussion." he snapped. "Sorry you came all this way but it's not happening. Bye."

With that Sam ended his call, turning. Dean caught a glimpse of a scowl before his eyes widened at seeing Dean there.

"What the hell is it with people sneaking along here?" Sam demanded. "Can't have a goddamn conversation without the whole house hearing."

"Sorry, I was just...checking on you." Dean said, shifting slightly to lean against the doorway frame. He watched his brother for a moment. "Ruby's mad?"

Sam stared at him for a moment before he sighed, turning to sit down on the stairs. "Upset." he said, arms on his knees. Dean hesitated for a moment before he went to sit down next to him.

Sam didn't speak for a few moments. "Ruby and me it's...complicated." he finally said. "I get that she's a demon, I get that demons can't be trusted. But she helped me, and she's on the run from other demons that will kill her, or worse. She sacrifices a lot to be on my side, however much she is, and I just..." he sighed, bowing his head. "I don't know."

Dean was quiet. "Do you love her?" he asked, feeling a sharp bit of relief when Sam shook his head.

"I don't love her, I don't know or trust her enough to love her." Sam said. "But I like her enough."

Dean nodded at that, turning his head to just watch Sam, eyes following the lines on his brothers face as he stared down at the ground.

Without thinking he reached out and with his thumb smoothed out the lines on his forehead. "You're gonna give yourself wrinkles if you keep doing that."

Sam blinked and turned to look at Dean in surprise. "What?"

"Sam you look a hell of a lot older than you are, you look older than me." Dean said, watching Sam reach up to touch his face and then his hair. "You gotta take care of yourself man."

Sam gave a small sad smile. "Hunting ages you." he said. "Combined with the stress of the end of the world and everything else, all I have worked for me is my genes."

That made something in Deans chest twinge at that but he didn't say anything, he didn't really know what else to say to that. So he changed the subject, "Who was the 'he' you're talking about?"

Sam looked at him again. "He?"

Dean nodded. "When you were talking to Ruby, you mentioned that she kept bringing it back to him, who is it?"

Sam hesitated, looking straight ahead once more, head bowed before he sighed. "You." he finally said. "She kept bringing you up."

Dean wasn't quite sure what to say about that. "Me?" he repeated. "How does she even know me?"

"She knows about our family, she knows...about you." Sam said, swallowing hard. "Like I said before, she knew about the demon that had kidnapped you and she had let me know."

He had no idea how to feel about that. "Guess I'll thank her if I see her." he mumbled. "What did she say this time about me?"

Sam stood up suddenly, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I don't want to talk about it." he said, almost curtly. He didn't go back inside, walking out into the back yard towards where the knives were laid on the table. "C'mon, let's keep practicing your knife throwing."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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	25. Chapter 25

Dean rubbed at his eyes, the words in front of him were swimming and he couldn't concentrate anymore.

Despite all the training that Sam was pushing on him there was a lot more reading involved when it came to hunting things that went bump in the dark. More reading than he thought would be involved.

He didn't do this much studying for school let alone for something like this and it was grinding against the gears he didn't realize were there.

He was not a scholar, he knew that for a while, he was good with his hands and he was good in motion, it's why he became a mechanic because those things made sense to him more than studying.

Sighing he tossed his book to the side, running his fingers through his short hair and rubbing at his scalp.

Too much information being thrown at him all at once, he couldn't really take it all in.

There was a clinking of ice and a glass being pressed into the back of his hand. Bringing his hands down and his head up he saw Sam standing over him holding out a glass of amber liquid at him.

"You look like you could use a drink." Sam said softly, sitting down in the other chair with his own glass. Dean took his own and nodded his thanks, taking a sip, grimacing slightly at the sharp taste.

Sam gave a thin smile at him and drank from his own glass, barely winching at the taste. "You get used to it." he told him. "How's the reading going?"

"Badly, I don't like to do this." Dean said, shoving the books slightly. "What were you doing?"

"I was outside sharpening stakes and knives." Sam said. "Getting some aggression out in a healthy manner."

Dean blinked at that. "I thought we killed vampires with decapitation." he said. "What's the stakes for?"

Sam smiled at that, shaking his head. "Other monsters that require being staked." he said, nodding at the book. "It's all in there."

Dean shot the book a dirty look, sipping at his drink instead. "I think I've had enough studying for tonight." he said.

"Hence, the drink." Sam said raising his glass. "Yeah I know, it's a lot. You should take a few breaks in between."

"Yeah, good." Dean said a bit lamely, finishing his drink with a groan, closing his eyes and shaking his head at the taste. Sam reached over and refilled his glass.

"So we've talked about me a lot, let's talk about you." Sam said, leaning back in his seat. "How are you?"

Dean half snorted at that, shaking his head once more. "My life isn't as exciting as yours Sammy." he said. "Not much to talk about."

"Well there has to be something." Sam said, his voice hitching slightly. "Like...any girlfriends in your life?"

Deans eyebrows rose at that and he gave a small laugh. "Nah, no girlfriends." he said. "One night stands mostly but nothing else."

"You sure about that?" Sam asked, a slight tease to his voice. "Nothing serious?"

"Okay now you sound like mom." Dean shot back. "No, nothing serious. Haven't been looking for anything."

"Alright, fair, not like I'm the one to say anything about that." Sam said. "So what else? I know you work at the shop with dad."

"Yeah, didn't really do the other degree for college." Dean said. "Went to a community college, got my degree in engineering, and that's it."

Sam had a small sad smile on his face, nodding as Dean spoke. "Sounds pretty normal." he said softly.

"Yeah, it was." Dean said, smile fading as he stared into the depths of his glass. "And that's it, nothing else important happened in my life. It all kinda just...stopped once you were gone."

Sam looked up at that. "What do you mean?"

"Sam once you were gone, run away with no reason, no note, we didn't have a clue to where you were or what had happened...none of us were in the mood to really...do anything." Dean said honestly. "It kinda took all the strength out of our sails and...nothing really made sense anymore."

"Dean I don't know how many more times I can apologize." Sam said softly. "I really don't but I'm sorry, I am, I was just..."

"Trying to do the right thing." Dean finished for him. "I know Sammy, I know. I'm not looking for apologizes right now. You asked, I answered, and I gave the answer. It just happened to go with the whole...you leaving things."

Sam swallowed and refilled their glasses once more. "If I had the power to turn back time, I would've." he said. "Unfortunately only angels can do that and I'm not about to ask any of them for help."

"The important thing is that we're here and we're together." Dean said, raising his glass in a toast. "And no matter, we're going to stay together."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

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**Alright so I gotta figure out this fic and I'm going to take a poll with you reviewers. Should this story be wincest or just brotherly love?**


	26. Chapter 26

Trying to fight back a yawn and losing Dean felt as if his jaw was going to dislodge when he yawned, feeling it throughout his entire body.

He slumped back against the chair, blinking blearily at the notes in front of him that no longer made any sense. Words and what they meant had been lost to him a few minutes ago after a few more glasses of alcohol and that meant, no more studying for the day, night.

Glancing at his watch he gave a small grimace, it was late, way too late to be looking at books. Realizing that it was just a bit too quiet he turned to look where his brother had been sitting on the couch, softening slightly.

Sam had fallen asleep on the couch, half laying and half sitting on it. His phone was held loosely in his grip and his breathing steady.

Dean turned around to just...look at him, taking his fill in. He hadn't really had this chance to before, other than small glimpses, so now he picked out the bits and pieces that he hadn't noticed before.

Despite how he looked when he was awake, when he was asleep Sam almost looked...young. Even younger than his actual age, he looked more like the seventeen year old that Dean had remembered.

The premature wrinkles smoothed out, the weight lifted off of his shoulders, even the grey that had no place in his hair vanished in the dark of the room.

Sam looked at ease as he slept and it made Deans heart clench as he watched his little brother.

His own tiredness forgotten Dean turned completely, making as little noise as he could to do so. Sam was on a hair trigger response, it was why he was staying firmly in his seat and not getting closer, he didn't want to wake him up and he didn't want to get thrown across the room either.

Sams phone vibrated, from his point of vantage he could see that Sam was getting another text message. He held his breath when Sam shifted but breathed out when he didn't wake up, just moving into a slightly more comfortable position.

His phone, meanwhile, slid out of his hand and onto the couch cushion next to him. It shone brightly once more as another text appeared and then blacked out once more.

Sighing to himself, he got up, snagging the old blanket at the end of the couch. Moving carefully and gently he covered his brother with the blanket, snickering to himself when it barely covered him.

He grew up tall, taller than Dean ever thought he would. He never imagined there would be a day that he would have to look up to look his brother in the eye.

The phone lit up once more and he glanced at it, freezing when he saw the message that came up.

_Ruby: So what, you're not even going to answer now? You're just going to ignore me?_

Ruby. That demon that apparently Sam had slept with, knowing that she was a demon.

Dean felt his chest tighten as he stared down at the message before the phone blacked over again.

So that's who's been texting him all day, some messages Sam had answered and others he had ignored. Something that was now making her a bit angry and put off at based on her message.

Dean had no idea how to feel about it, he didn't know enough about demons and all these supernatural things to really have an opinion. It sometimes seemed like the supernatural things were all in one category that meant that they needed to be killed but then sometimes Sam would mutter something that would make him think otherwise.

Apparently he had a vampire and a werewolf friend at one point, both of which ate animals instead of humans which meant that they were on the better side which meant not to kill them.

He was sure that it was a very short list of supernatural beings that weren't to be killed but alright, it did exist.

But where did Ruby fall on those lists? What side was she on?

Sam apparently trusted her enough to sleep with her, and he just couldn't get that out of his mind. He had slept with a demon, knowing that she was a demon. They were in contact enough that Ruby could come into town and expect to see Sam, most likely hook up with him again too.

And it bothered him. It bothered him deeply and he couldn't really explain why. The thought that his brother, his baby brother, was being touched by a demon like that.

He couldn't help but wonder what she looked like, what she and Sam would look like. Demons apparently had black eyes, he remembered that from the warehouse, but otherwise he didn't think that the demon looked any different than a human being.

His phone lit up again and despite himself, he looked down at the screen.

_Ruby: This is because of your brother, isn't it?_

Dean stared at the phone until the light went out, not quite understanding what it meant.

What was about him? He hadn't done a single thing, the worst that he had done was get kidnapped by a demon but that wasn't exactly in his power of control to stop.

The phone lit up again.

_Ruby: Can we just meet up and talk in person? I miss you Sammy._

And that...that made his blood boil just a bit. The nickname, the endearment. It wasn't only his, their parents used it too, but at the same time...it was personal. It was intimate in a way.

And the fact that Ruby felt comfortable enough to use it...it made him want to smash the phone against the floor.

Instead he breathed out deeply, focusing on that instead of the rage he couldn't quite understand that was boiling inside of him. He stood up and went to the other couch instead, their parents were given the other bedroom leaving the two couches to them. He laid down on it and stared up at the ceiling, already knowing that despite how tired he was, sleep wasn't going to come anytime soon.

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	27. Chapter 27

In the morning when they woke up, Sam was gone.

"Where did he go?" Mary half demanded, only partly hysterical. John didn't look too far off from it and Dean felt himself skidding the line.

They didn't exactly have a good relationship with waking up in the morning to have Sam missing. Especially since they all saw him last night.

"If I know the kid, and dammit but I know the kid," Bobby said, rubbing at his eyes. "He went into town to meet with Ruby."

"The demon? He went to meet the demon?" John asked. "Why would he..." he stopped himself, remembering exactly what their relationship was. "Okay, but he said that he wasn't going to."

"Kid says a lot of things, doesn't mean that he would do them." Bobby said shaking his head. "He'll be back either tonight or tomorrow. Ruby doesn't usually stay long in town."

"And where do they meet?" Mary demanded. "Because I want to meet this Ruby and introduce her to my knife."

"There's only one knife that can kill a demon that we know of and Sam has it." Bobby reminded her. "And I've already tried using a different knife, it makes her mad and pisses Sam off."

"Do you know where they meet up?" Dean asked. "Like...at a motel or something?"

"Hell if I know, I don't want too many details about what they do." Bobby said with a bit of a grimace. "Bad enough I walked in on them once, not enough bleach in the world to get that image out of my mind."

Dean didn't want to think about what that meant. Nor did he want to think what that swooping feeling in his stomach.

"Can't we...I don't know...track his phone?" John tried, wringing his hands.

Bobby lifted a phone from the table. "Sams already ahead of us, he left it here."

"Then we're going to go for a drive through town until we find him the old fashioned way." Mary declared, grabbing her jacket and car keys. "John, Dean, come on."

Dean was halfway to getting his shoes on when John had said, "Maybe we're taking this a bit too far."

Mary stopped mid putting her jacket on. "What do you mean?"

"Look, Sams an adult, and he knows a lot about...all of this. More than we do." John said. "Maybe...we should just trust his judgment. Let him just...do this?"

"John. You don't understand demons," Mary told him, reaching to hold onto his shirt. "You don't trust them. You don't work with them. And you most certainly don't have sex with them. Our son is doing all three."

"I know that." John said taking her hand in his. "But...maybe things changed. Maybe it's not all demons, maybe this one can be trusted."

"I can't take that chance." Mary told him. "Not when it comes to our son. Not when it's him on the line."

"Then let's go find this demon and interrogate the hell, literal, out of her." John said, smiling and wrapping his arms around her for a moment.

"That's my guy." Mary said with a grin. She glanced at Dean and nodded. "Lets go, Bobby you stay here in case he comes back, call me if he does, you have my number."

Dean quickly followed them out, throwing a look at Bobby. Mary drove them into town, barely paying attention to the road signs that they sped past.

"Mom, you know where we're going?" Dean asked from the backseat, gripping onto the seat for dear life.

"Into town, there's not that many places they could go to." Mary told them. Dean looked at his dad who looked calm but Dean noticed that he was gripping at the armrest on the door. "There's one motel, two diners, and one very nice park. Their options are limited."

Maybe it was luck, maybe it was something else, but they started at the park; which was apparently the closest to them, and Mary breathed out a heavy sigh of relief when they saw Sam sitting on a bench.

They were a little bit less relieved when they saw that a woman was sitting next to him and the fact that they were both talking about something very emotionally.

Mary barely parked the car properly as the three of them got out, going towards Sam. Dean felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

And he felt like choking when the woman, Ruby, moved to sit onto his lap, legs on either side of him, hand cupping his cheek, and kissing him.

Especially when Sam didn't move for a moment but then reached up, pulling her closer to him, and even kissing her back.

"This little-" Mary muttered under her breath as she hurried up. "Sam!" she called out, causing both of them to jump and part.

"Oh look, mommy and daddy are here to enforce curfew." Ruby scoffed, looking up at them and not moving off of Sams lap. "Can you ask them if you can stay out past ten?"

Sam closed his eyes and breathed out slowly, picking her up by the hips and easily taking her off of his lap, setting her back on the bench. Dean breathed out at that, he knew that Sam would be able to do that and he hated that he was right.

"What are you guys doing? Stalking me now? Following me?" Sam asked, anger coloring his tone, standing up. "Cause I'm getting really tired of this."

Ruby stood up as well, crossing her arms over her chest and going to stand next to Sam. "This is exactly what I was talking about Sam." she told him. "Exactly this."

Sam let out a heavy sigh. "Now is not the time Ruby." he told her. "And guys, I really don't appreciate any of this."

"You just got up and vanished Sam, we're still dealing with you doing that seven years ago." John said. "We just want to make sure that you're okay."

"And not fraternizing with the enemy." Mary added, glaring at Ruby who just raised an eyebrow back at her.

"Fine, let's talk, let's show that Ruby is on my side." Sam said, sitting back down on the bench. Ruby did the same, sitting next to, too close Dean noted, all but curling into his side. "Let's talk."

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	28. Chapter 28

Ruby looked way too comfortable curled up against Sams side, head on his shoulder and her hand on his leg. Sam didn't look displeased or pushed her away, and maybe it was his imagination but he almost seemed to be leaning into her as well.

To the outside eye they could almost look like any other couple enjoying a day in the park.

It made Deans stomach churn and he wasn't sure why.

"Maybe we should take this somewhere else, somewhere we can all sit." John suggested, looking around and seeing a few other people glancing at them.

Mary let out a deep, almost aggravated breath. "Fine, there's a diner a few blocks away." she said a bit tensely. "We'll go there."

Ruby let out a put upon sigh and gracefully stood up, taking Sams hand with her. Dean stared at that, stared at the way their fingers entwined together, and walked off together towards the diner.

Dean swallowed down whatever he was feeling, he was going to try to make sense of it later on when he had the time, and followed, glancing at his parents. Both of them looked grave, if looks could kill Mary's gaze would've killed Ruby alone.

By the time they all reached the diner Sam and Ruby were already sitting in a booth big enough for five of them. They stayed on one side of the booth, Ruby pressing into him again.

Sam still wasn't pushing her away or giving any indication that he in any way annoyed with her for her motions, Dean noted as he slid into the booth followed by his parents.

The waitress came over, a bored looking woman who barely looked at them as they ordered, and walked away, leaving them to talk among themselves.

"I want to know why you trust her." Mary said, leaning forward, her eyes pinning Ruby in place. Ruby didn't look that fazed, just raising an eyebrow at her in response.

"It's personal." Sam said tensely. "She helped me when I needed help the most. And no, I'm not going to tell you what happened."

"And how do you know that you're not just being manipulated by her?" Mary demanded. "How do you know that she's not lying?"

"She's right here." Ruby said in a low voice. "And considering I've been by his side for a lot more than you three combined? I'd watch the tone."

"Ruby, don't antagonize them, please." Sam said, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. "And again mom, it's personal. I don't want to get into it."

"How convenient." Mary said with a bit of a snort. "Because until I hear some concrete, and I'm talking bulletproof, holy water filled evidence. I'm not even remotely convinced."

"We're not looking for your approval." Ruby said simply. "Sams a big boy, he can make his own decisions."

Their waitress came by then, placing coffees and plates in front of them. Ruby smiled at the plate piled high with french fries and eagerly took the ketchup Sam offered her, all but drowning the fries in it.

"I get it, I do." Sam said softly. "And trust me, after everything with Azazel demons are the last ones that I would trust." he gave a small sigh, sipping at his coffee; he hadn't ordered anything else. "But Ruby is different."

"What makes her different?" John asked. He held a hand up when Sam was about to speak. "You're allowed to have your personal experiences that you don't want to share, but you also need to give us something Sam, we need some sort of proof."

Dean finally dared to look up, freezing when he saw Ruby was staring at him. Neither of them spoke as the others did, the sounds of their voices fading around them.

Then, Ruby smirked and as quick as anything, her eyes flicked to black. Before he could even tense up she blinked and her eyes went back to the human eyes.

She was still smirking at him and he couldn't shake that, couldn't shake off the look in those dead eyes, even if they weren't black anymore.

He can't trust her. No matter what Sam says.

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	29. Chapter 29

Dean couldn't shake off the feeling, the deep borne instinct of something telling him what to do and what not to do.

He can't trust Ruby.

Sam was like a stonewall, he refused to budge and tell them exactly why he trusted her, despite their moms best attempts to get him to crack and talk.

Later found the three of them back at Bobbys, sans Sam. He had decided to stay back in town to...talk to Ruby for a bit longer.

Based on the look that Ruby had shot him at that, talking was going to be the last thing that they were planning to do.

And that just made the gnawing in his stomach grow larger until it was almost choking him.

He didn't give a damn about the fact that she was a demon, even if it was something he should hold against her if only due to his last encounter with a demon was to be kidnapped and used as bait. He honestly didn't care about it when push came to shove.

Their mom did and their dad was following her, only because he didn't know enough just yet. It might remain like that once he learned or he'd try to see all the sides.

According to Mary, there were only two sides. Black and white, them and us, supernatural and humans. She claimed that there was no such thing as a good supernatural being, that all of them preyed on humans one way or another.

And especially demons. If there had ever been an idea that a supernatural being could be on their side, demons were nowhere near that idea.

It was just some sort of lingering feeling, a thought that had nested into his brain and refused to leave. It wasn't something that he could ignore, despite how he tried to focus on his task at hand.

Bobby had set him to work in making bullets, apparently some had to be specially made for certain monsters, when he got up to it he was going to be able to carve precise devils traps on the bullets to work against demons. For now, salt rounds and silver filled bullets.

But that became muscle memory too quickly and as a result, his mind started to wander.

And it kept going back to Ruby and his brother.

It was her eyes that bothered him, it was her actions. The little pieces that he got was that she had been edging Sam on, motivating him in some way. Her words had power over Sam and he didn't know why but they worked. And over and over again she kept bringing it back to Sam and his family but keep those two things separate.

Like she was trying to drive a wedge between them. Like she was trying to keep them and Sam away from one another.

Like she was trying to keep Sam all to herself.

His instincts have never been wrong before, even back when he was younger he knew that he could rely on them. It was something deep inside of him that he never really understood but always obeyed.

His father had been a soldier in Vietnam. His mother had, apparently, been a hunter of the supernatural. Two jobs that require a mixture of luck, skill, and damn good instincts. It was in his blood and being, engraved into the deepest parts of him.

So when they were screaming at him about this, when every part of him was saying not to trust Ruby, when even just her name made his skin crawl?

He knew to listen to them..

So that meant that, first things first.

He needed to get Sam away from her.

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	30. Chapter 30

Sam didn't come back until late in the night. Dean knew because he wasn't asleep, he didn't think that he was up and waiting for him but at the same time, he wasn't able to go to sleep knowing that his brother was out there with someone he couldn't trust.

To his credit he did try to remain silent as he came back into the house, he knew enough to avoid the cracks and creaks on the porch, as well as knowing how to open the door without making the hinges squeak.

Dean looked up from the book he had been pretending to read as Sam came into the living room, freezing when he saw him.

"Hey." Dean greeted, closing the book and setting it to the side. He had no idea if he had been holding it the right way and he didn't care.

"Hey." Sam echoed, coming into the living room completely, sitting down on the couch. He moved to take his boots off, already throwing his jacket to the side. "You waited for me?"

"No, just lost track of time." Dean said, staring at his brother. He picked out a few things, scratches that were hinted along the back of his arms going down his shirt, dark marks on his neck, a certain relaxation to his very posture that almost made it look like a different person.

Oh yeah, they did nothing but talk for hours on end since the diner.

"Think there's still something on the stove if you're hungry." Dean told him.

Sam shook his head. "Just tired." he said. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Dean...it's not that big a deal. It was just...sex."

"It's just about sex and you know it Sammy." Dean said, turning in his chair so that he could face him. "Look, it's just you and me here, talk to me. Why do you trust her so much?"

"I can't tell you that." Sam said, looking up at him. He looked so tired and drained that Dean wanted to forgo the questions and let him go to sleep.

But he also knew that come morning, their parents were going to be up Sams ass about this and afterwards he definitely wasn't going to want to talk.

So, in order to get the truth out of his brother, he was going to have to be honest himself.

"Sam, I don't trust her," he said honestly. "But you obviously do, for whatever reason, and...I'd just like to know what those reasons are."

"You don't know her, how can you not trust her?" Sam asked. "Did mom get to you? Just because she's a demon doesn't mean that-"

"I don't care that she's a demon." Dean injected. "She could be a fairy or a zombie or a, I don't know, a wendigo." that was the only monster that really stuck out to him in his readings. Sam wrinkled his nose at the thought and from the little he had read, Dean was sure he knew why. "She's bad news Sam."

"You don't know her like I do." Sam told him firmly. "Now I'd really like to get some sleep Dean."

"I just want to say one thing, and this is me just seeing something from this afternoon." Dean said. "She kept pulling you away man, she kept saying things like, "Its like I told you," and "They don't understand," I just...I think she's trying to put a wedge between us."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Sam said. "You met her once, and I'll admit that she's not the easiest to get along with. But she's not trying to make any kind of wedge."

"I don't believe that." Dean said simply. "I just don't Sam. Convince me otherwise, tell me what she did that made you trust her so much."

Sam just stared at him for a long, quiet moment and Dean thought that maybe he got through to him and that he was going to talk.

"If I tell you." Sam whispered. "You're never going to look at me the same way again."

"What do you mean?"

Sam swallowed hard, he could see his Adam's apple move. "I mean that...what Ruby helped me with, and everything she helped me get through, if you knew about it...I don't think you'd ever be able to even look at me again."

"Sam that will never happen." Dean told him. "We thought you were dead for seven years, we thought the worst things possible, granted the supernatural was not taken into account but that was a mis-sight on our parts." He stood up and went to the couch, sitting next to his brother who looked so damn young and lost that Dean couldn't help but reach out and wrap his arms around him.

"Whatever you think is the worst, it's not even close to what we thought might have happened." Dean told him, holding his brother close to him. "So just...talk to me man."

"Sammy, what happened?"

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	31. Chapter 31

"After the whole thing with Azazel, to say that I was a mess would be the biggest understatement of all existence. I was inconsolable and nothing I could do was helping me. I wanted to go home, I thought I could go home after the whole Azazel thing but before he died, a hell's gate opened and countless demons escaped. I knew that I couldn't go home yet, I needed to take care of the demons."

"But I had no idea how to do it, so many demons were free after years in hell and just me and a handful of other hunters. And even then, there were hunters that knew I had been in the middle of everything and that was all they needed to know to believe that I had caused it."

"Maybe I did, I don't really know anymore. That night's such a blur that I don't really remember what happened."

"And then there were the hunters that wanted to kill me for it. So I had demons, other supernatural beings, and now humans after me. I had some people on my side but I didn't want them to get tangled up and possibly hurt by anyone or anything, so I kept my distance from them and only communicated through the phone."

"Made Ellen pissed off as anything, when I finally met her again she slapped me and warned me to never do it again."

"But then I realized exactly what Azazel had planned, he had wanted me to lead hell's army remember? I found that out from demons, because apparently there were some demons on board with it."

"Some demons were really on board with the idea."

"The thing is, with demons, you never knew which ones were technically on your side and which were the ones trying to rip your throat out. The demons that weren't on the idea of me running the army saw me as a competition, no matter how many times I told them that I didn't want it, they didn't care. They just wanted me dead."

"Demons don't listen to you unless you're the one holding the blade and there weren't any at that time that worked against them."

"Back then I only had a few things that I could use against demons. Holy water, devils traps, wardings. My saving grace was my anti-possession tattoo. Most of the time I ran."

"One night I got cornered, I couldn't get away without possibly killing myself. So I did the only thing I could, I faced them. And then I got desperate, and when I got desperate, I learned something that I had been avoiding. My powers came full force and forcefully exorcized the demons from their vessels, sending them back to hell."

"So after that, I tried to use my powers. Back then I had just known about seeing the future bullshit. I didn't know that there were other things added too."

"Maybe it wasn't really mine, the other kids back during the death match said that the more they killed, it almost seemed like they got the powers of the kids they killed. Maybe it was just an echo of that, I had killed some of them to be able to get away so maybe I got it from them."

"I don't really know and at this point, I don't really care."

"I tried to figure out how to use my powers, I couldn't really ask anyone for help. With psychics you never know who you can trust and considering everything and what everyone thought about me, I didn't want it known that I had any kind of powers. Especially not since they came from demons."

"I tried to figure it out myself, but it was a lot of failure combined with severe nosebleeds and crippling migraines. Most of the time after using anything I would be laid up for a few days. Not that I let it take me out for a few days, I had to keep being on the move so I just gave myself a few hours at most. Thing is...it kept building up until I apparently had a brain bleed of sorts. Collapsed one day with one foot out of the motel room."

"And when I woke up, Ruby was there."

"I had seen her before, just never knew her name. She had saved me from demons beforehand, it was her knife that I knew could kill a demon for good. But she never stayed for long, didn't tell me anything."

"But there she was, she had saved me and even healed me as best as she could. And she told me why I was having so much trouble and in so much pain. She offered her help to me and she bared it all to me, she told me the truth about herself and who she was; she knew that if she had held anything back I'd never trust her."

"Even though she had saved my life."

"So she told me that she was a demon that was on my side. She wasn't one of the demons that wanted me to take up the leader of the armies but she had been watching me and she liked me enough that she wanted to help."

"She told me the real truth behind my powers and what I really had to do to gain control over them. She said that they were demonic in origin so I needed to be able to properly get back in touch with that part of me. That this started because of Azazel feeding me his blood when I was a baby."

"That in order to really understand and use my powers, I had to return to that as well."

"Demon blood. I had to drink demon blood in order to not only be able to tap into my powers in ways that I couldn't before, but it would also be stronger as a result. The more blood I'd drink, the stronger I would be."

"I refused to do that, the whole thing was disgusting and morally wrong to begin with. Drinking demon blood? That was a line that I had no desire to cross."

"But...when you get desperate."

"...you're willing to do anything."

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	32. Chapter 32

For a moment Dean wasn't sure of himself or what he had heard. Sam wasn't looking at him, hadn't looked at him once while he spoke, Dean hadn't interupted him since he began; not wanting to stop him while he was talking.

When he swallowed hard, he tasted bile, forcing it down as he took a deep breath, running Sams words through his mind once more.

Listening to it a second time in his mind didn't make it any easier than hearing it the first time.

"Demon blood." he finally managed to say, his voice rough and coarse. When he saw that it made Sam flinch, he cleared his throat to try to speak clearly. "Demon blood."

Sam nodded, eyes firmly on the ground. "Demon blood." he said quietly. "I tried not to, I wanted to avoid it. But...like I said, when you get desperate, you're willing to throw a lot of morals out the window."

"What happened to get you desperate?" Dean asked, not sure if he really wanted to know the answer.

Sam didn't say anything but after a moment he got up and turned away from Dean so that his back was to him. He pulled his shirt off, throwing it to the couch, and immediately Dean saw the reason.

Along Sams back were a series of long scars that only hinted at how deep they had gone. They looked as if something had tried to reach into him and grab his spine for lack of a better way to describe it. There were five lines in total, all along his back that started at the base of his neck going down to the small of his back.

Without realizing that he had even moved Dean had gotten up, reaching out to gently touch the scars. Sam flinched back from his touch but otherwise didn't move. Despite being taller than Dean he was narrower as well, thin yet muscular. He knew that Sam was strong, he knew that his brother could take care of himself.

But seeing him like this, seeing his scars, seeing him bare like this, it almost felt like Sam was breakable and fragile, vulnerable in a way he'd never seen him.

"I don't think I have to say much about this." Sam said quietly, head bowed. "I think this part you can tell what happened."

Dean swallowed hard and nodded, bringing both hands up to place against Sams back, leaning forward until his forehead touched the top of the scars. "So then you started to drink demon blood?"

"Yeah." Sam whispered, barely audible. "And damn if it didn't work. Almost immediately my powers were amplified a hundred, a thousand times. Took some time to get them under control but," he held his hand out and his shirt shot into his hand from the couch. "But I got there."

"And you don't need the demon blood anymore?" Dean asked, hoping for a positive answer on that.

Sam didn't say anything as he stepped away from Dean enough to pull his shirt back on.

Feeling the pit growing in his stomach Dean straightened up, taking a deep breath. "Sam," he asked lowly. "What did you and Ruby do today?"

"Sex." Sam told him. "And more demon blood."

"You seem to be in good enough control of your powers right now, is that because of the blood or because of you?" Dean asked.

"Both, a lot of it comes from me just knowing how to use it. But at the same time, the demon blood doesn't hurt." Sam said, still not looking at him. "Its not really something I want to stop just yet anyway."

He really didn't like the implications of that last sentence.

"Its not something that you want to stop or its something that you can't stop?" Dean asked, feelings his fingers twitch.

Sam was quiet for a moment too long.

"Its addictive, isn't it?" Dean asked, taking a step closer to him. "Its a drug, Ruby's drugging you."

"Shes not drugging me, I'm the one taking it from her." Sam said, turning and going around to sit on the couch.

"And I'm sure she's more than willing to give you a dose." Dean said, turning with Sam. "So what? She comes into town for a day for a fuck and a liter of blood?"

"Its not like that." Sam tried to argue, sounding tired as hell. For a moment Dean felt bad at keeping him awake but at the same time, this needed to be talked about now.

"No she just strings you along. Demons aren't trustworthy, I've heard you say that yourself, but this Ruby is trustworthy, sure." Dean went on. "And obviously you're not going to get another dose of demon blood from just anywhere else but her. Meaning that she can tell you that the sky is green and grass is blue and you'd probably believe her if it meant she'd give you more."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Sam said, staring down at the ground.

"Sam, look at me already." Dean half exclaimed, just barely remembering to keep his voice down because of everyone else that was sleeping in the house. He came forward and grabbed Sams shoulder, pushing him back until his head came up and froze.

Sam was staring at him with tears in his eyes, shaking slightly. He closed his eyes and a tear rolled down his cheek, his hand coming up to roughly wipe at it with the heel.

"Sammy." Dean whispered before leaning forward and wrapping his arms around his little brother. Sam stiffened for a moment before his arms hesitantly came up to grip at him, the shaking starting to intensify. Dean moved enough to crawl onto the couch, tightening his grip around his brother, as he basically climbed onto his lap to hold him properly.

"I got you Sammy." he whispered to him. "I got you."

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	33. Chapter 33

Dean held him until he fell asleep, slipping in between one breath and the next. Moving carefully Dean slowly pulled away and gently placed Sam onto the couch so that he could sleep.

Grabbing the blanket on the couch he covered him with it and then knelt down next to his head, just watching his little brother.

Even asleep he looked like he was carrying the weight of the world. The bags under his eyes were more prominent, the stress lines that were across his face. It made Deans stomach clench and his chest tighten as he reached out to stroke at Sam's hair, sitting down on the ground to get a bit more comfortable.

The more he stroked over Sammys hair, the more he could see that it was relaxing him bit by bit, until finally he looked like a kid again, deep asleep and hopefully nightmare free.

Dean let his fingers linger, just stroking over Sam's hair and face, smoothing out the premature lines that were there. His thumb stroked over Sam's cheek, catching slightly on the stubble, Sam needed to shave. Back when he had left, he hadn't even had the hint of a beard so their dad hadn't shown him how to shave like he had with Dean.

He wondered who taught Sam how to shave, most likely it had been Bobby and despite everything that pissed him off more than it should and more than made logical sense.

Bobby shouldn't have had such a position in Sam's life, whenever the man spoke about him he almost spoke like a father talking about his son. He knew that it pissed John off, he could tell every time Bobby said something about the past and their dad tense up.

Dad was just as pissed off as he was, he was just hiding it better for the time being because they all needed to work together.

Sam should've stayed with them, visions of the future notwithstanding. They would've managed, they would've figured things out. Mom had been a hunter before, she would've known what to do and he and dad would've followed quickly and easily, just like they are now.

He wished that Sam had trusted them enough and had enough faith in them back then to just...talk to them. Let them be a part of it and help him. They were his family, it's what they were supposed to do.

It's what he's supposed to do. He's Sam's big brother, he's supposed to look after him.

Well, better late than never. He was here now and nothing was going to take him away from Sam or from helping him.

Especially now that he needed it most, whether he knew that or not.

He wasn't sure if Sam understood just how bad Ruby was to him, how bad it was whatever she was whispering and doing to him.

But Dean was going to make sure that he understood it. He'd find a way to get to his brother, get through that thick stubborn skull of his, and make him realize the truth.

He wasn't sure what to tell their parents tomorrow, he was sure that they were going to demand answers that he knew Sam didn't want to get into a second time, leaving it to him and whether or not to tell them the truth.

He also wasn't sure how they were going to react to the realization that Sam had been drinking demon blood, that was something that he really wasn't looking forward to seeing if he told them.

Rubbing at his forehead with his free hand, Dean leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes, feeling drained and tired to all hell.

He wasn't sure how to handle this, he had no idea. Apparently demon blood was addicting enough to make Sam want to have more, regardless of what he said. So that meant that he needed to deal with this like it was drugs.

God he wished that this whole thing was just drugs, then he could just beat Sam's ass and then send him off to rehab to get sober and deal with him when he got out with hard and rough familial loving.

But no, he had to be involved with hunting and supernatural things and demon blood. That was a bit more difficult than a twelve step program.

The little that he knew, he had to cut the addiction at the source, meaning no more demon blood from Ruby. No more dealing with Ruby, or having anything to do with her. If she has information as Sam says she does, she can text him.

And that's if she really does care about Sam like Sam thinks she does, Dean had a feeling that she didn't give a damn.

After that...he wasn't sure. He was going to have to look this stuff up to see how to deal with an addiction and getting over it. He saw that the town had a library, he could go there for a day to find some sort of steps to take.

Leaning back a bit heavier against the couch Dean kept his hand tangled in Sam's hair, feeling himself start to fall asleep himself.

He's exhausted with everything, he can only imagine how Sam felt at this point. They'd deal with this tomorrow morning, for now, they were just going to sleep.

Regardless of what tomorrow is going to bring, whatever eruptions from their parents and Bobby, they'd deal with it together.

He wasn't going anywhere, he was going to stand by Sam the entire time no matter what.

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	34. Chapter 34

"Demon blood!?"

He wasn't sure who shouted louder, his mom or Bobby. It would almost be impressive if their tone of voice wasn't terrifying.

Dean had mercifully been the one to tell the rest of them about the whole thing and about Ruby as well as what Sam had done. Once he had gotten to the demon blood part he had gotten up and went to the other room. Thankfully he didn't leave the house but even going to the other room set Bobby off.

"Boy! Get back here!" Bobby shouted at him once Dean had finished talking. It took a moment but Sam came back into the room, leaning in the doorframe with his hands in his pockets as he stared down at the ground.

"Don't yell at him like that." John told him, his voice tense. He looked at Sam and took a deep breath. "Sam, just for the sake of everything. Can you confirm that everything Dean said is true?"

Sam didn't say anything or look up, he just nodded.

John shook his head, running his hand down his face. "Alright, okay. So...this is...something." he said. "So demon blood...is like a drug?"

Sam just nodded again, head bowed.

"Okay, so, drugs means addiction. Addiction means dependence which means withdrawal." John said. "Sam have you gone through withdrawal before?"

"Yeah." Sam said, his voice low and breaking. "Seizures, hallucinations, being thrown around the room. Literally."

"Did you mean to go through withdrawal or was it just because you didn't have access to demon blood?" John asked him.

"Didn't realize what was happening until it happened." Sam said quietly. "When it did...I called her."

"Ruby." Mary said, anger coloring her tone. "And what did she say? Did she come running over to give you more?"

"Took her a bit but she did." Sam said. "And ever since then...I didn't want to go through that again."

"Most people don't, hence why they don't stop doing drugs." John said, shaking his head. "Sam. You gotta understand that...this needs to stop. No more demon blood."

Sam stared at the ground. "No more demon blood potentially means no more powers." he told them. "Without the demon blood acting as a catalyst, I lose a lot of my control over them."

"And what exactly are you using those powers for other than not having to pick up your ass to grab a book?" Bobby demanded.

John shot him a warning look. "Sam, what are you using your powers for?"

"Sometimes my premonitions can help me find hunts before people get hurt. I use my telekinesis to exorcize people that are possessed by demons, it gets the demons out without hurting them." he told them. "On a hunt I can't get to my weapons my telekinesis helps, either by pushing the monster away or being able to pretty much summon a weapon. It all helps."

"And on hunts you need all the help you can get." Mary said, burying her face in her hands.

"Are you that bad of a hunter that you need that help?" Bobby half demanded. "I thought I trained you better than that."

"Stop it." John half snapped at him. Dean glanced at him, stepping back when he saw the look on his dad's face. He'd never seen it before, he had never seen his dad so close to losing his temper.

"I don't want to go through that again." Sam said quietly, barely audible. "The withdrawal...I thought that I was going to die."

"I've seen guys go through withdrawal, it's not pretty and it's hard." John said gently. "But Sammy...you gotta. This isn't good for you son, you have to understand that."

Sam shifted from foot to foot and looked away. "I don't know if I'm ready." he admitted in a small voice. "I just...I'm not ready."

"You choosing to do it is half the battle." John told him. "We can't force that."

"The hell we can't." Mary and Bobby said in unison. John glanced at them, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

"Mary, I've seen guys go through this by force. It's not pretty." John said. "He has to choose to give the drug up and go through withdrawal."

"Or I can put him downstairs in the dungeon where we wait for the blood to leave his system." Bobby said with a snort. "That's an option."

"No, that's not an option." John snapped at him. His voice softened when he turned back to Sam. "Sam, last night you...used demon blood, right?"

"Drank it." Sam corrected him quietly. "Yeah, I did."

"Alright, how long do you have until you need more?" John asked him.

Sam took a deep breath. "About...five or six days." he said, his voice still soft.

"Then you have five days to decide." John told him. "You have to be the one to decide to get off of this." he stared at his son for a moment before his voice softened. "Sammy, you do realize that you can't depend on this demon blood, right?"

"Yeah I do."

"Good." John said with a nod before he crossed over and wrapped his arms around Sam. Sam tensed up but slowly relaxed, bringing his own arms up to hug him back. He murmured something to Sam that Dean couldn't hear and then pulled away, Sam nodded and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Gonna get some air." Sam mumbled without waiting for anyone else to say anything, he left the room and the front door open and close.

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	35. Chapter 35

Dean waited a few minutes to give Sam some alone time before he went out after him, thankfully he wasn't too far off, at the same place they had been teaching Dean how to throw knives.

He was sharpening stakes and tensed up when he heard Dean approach but didn't turn towards him or stop what he was doing.

"So when do you put me in the dungeon and throw away the key?" Sam finally asked, tossing the stake onto the table.

"Never, cause that's not gonna happen." Dean told him, just staring at his brother for a moment. "How you feeling?"

"Drained." Sam said briefly, moving to place his hands on the table and lean against it, head bowed. "Dean...I'm not ready to go through that." he gave a scoff, fingers digging into the wood. "I honestly thought that I was going to die."

"Well...that's cause you were doing it alone." Dean said. "But Sammy...you're not alone. You got me. You got our parents. You won't be doing this alone."

"Yeah well, it's also not fair to put all of this on you." Sam said, shaking his head and pushing away from the table. "You guys got enough with all this supernatural stuff, you don't need me adding to that with my demon blood."

"You act like we're some sort of strangers." Dean said, following him. "We're your family Sam. And we're going to help you whether you want it or not."

Sam sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Dean-" he started to say.

"No, Sam, listen to me." Dean interrupted, walking around so that he could look up at his brother who seemed determined not to make eye contact with him. "You did this same exact thing seven years ago. You had those visions and you ran away, not even giving us a chance to know about it, let alone help you. And now you're trying to do it again."

"It's not the same thing-"

"Yes it is!" Dean injected once more. "Yes it is! Why are you so damn against us helping you?"

"I don't want you guys to be tangled up in my drama." Sam half snapped at him. "This is something that I got myself into and therefore doesn't involve you."

"The hell it doesn't!" Dean snapped back at him. "You're my little brother, you're still my pain-in-the-ass brother and I don't give a damn what you want but I'm going to help you."

Sam finally brought his head up to glare at him before stalking back to the table. "Leave me alone." he muttered under his breath.

"No." Dean told him. "Not now, not ever."

He could hear Sam breathe out at that, cracking his neck from side to side. "You should realize a lost cause when you see it."

For a moment, Dean couldn't speak. "Is that what you think of yourself?" he asked in a horrified voice. "That you're a lost cause? Why? Because of the demon blood? You're a lot of things Sam, I've already mentioned the pain in the ass, but you are the farthest thing from a lost cause." he stared at his brother before his voice softened. "Why would you think that?"

Sam took a deep breath, shaking his head once more. "I don't want to talk about this."

"Boys."

The both of them turned around to see John standing there with a tired smile and hands in his pockets.

"Figured I might as well learn how to throw knives." he said nodding at the knives on the table. "Dean, mind leaving us for a bit?"

Dean bit down hard on the inside of his cheek as he turned back to his brother. "We're not done with this." he told him before turning and going back into the house.

The both of them watched him leave before Sam spoke, "How much of that did you hear?"

"Enough." was all John said before going to the table. "So which knives are for throwing?"

Sam breathed out but joined him, gathering a few knives and handing them to him. "You can use these against the tree. There's a target already put on it."

John nodded, shifting the knives into one hand as he moved a distance away from the tree. His wrist flicked and the knife was in the dead center of the target.

"So," John said, taking the next knife and aiming for a moment before he threw it. It landed right next to the first knife. "I'm guessing you don't want to talk about what you said."

"No."

"Didn't think so." John said, taking a third knife and throwing it. "But I'm going to ask anyway. Why do you think you're a lost cause?"

"There's a lot you don't know about me dad." Sam told him. "I'm not that kid anymore."

"Yeah, but you're still my kid." John said. "And I know you, you wouldn't just say that you're a lost cause due to demon blood or seeing things or moving things with your mind. There's more to that than you're telling us."

Sam just stared at him and then looked away. "I really don't want to talk about this dad." he said, going back to the table. He stopped when a knife whizzed past him and embedded itself in the wood. "You know that dangerous?"

"Only dangerous if I don't know what I'm doing." John told him, twirling the handle of the last knife between his fingers. "Luckily I do."

Sam just shot him a look and reached out to yank the knife free. "Dad,"

"Look, I'm not here to judge you, I don't know much about the hunting life but I can tell it's a hell of a stressful one." John told him. "And if you want to talk, I'll listen, but let me tell you something Sammy. Nothing you could ever have done or will do or anything in between, will ever make us think that you're a lost cause."

John nodded at him and without looking he threw the last knife at the target on the tree, hitting dead center once more. He walked past Sam and reached out to squeeze his shoulder.

"Just remember that." he said before going back inside.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**119/366**

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	36. Chapter 36

The days passed fast, faster than any of them really expected them to.

On the fifth day Sam started to get a bit jumpy, a bit twitchy and snapping at anyone that spoke to him. They hadn't even realized it before until the whole secret was out that he had been the same before.

At the end of the day Sam just stalked outside and worked on target practice and knife throwing. Dean watched from the window to see that his brother was shaking so hard that he was missing most of his marks.

He stayed outside all day, refusing to come inside even to eat anything and ignoring everyone that tried to make conversation with him. Especially about what was happening.

He also saw Sam try to move things with his mind again, this time he was barely able to lift the knife off of the table, let alone whatever he had been able to do before.

He could see just how much it was affecting his brother, not just the withdrawal but the whole loss of control. At one point Bobby stalked out there to yell at him and the look Sam had shot him would make even the strongest man turn away and leave him.

Dean couldn't get their conversation out of his head, he knew better than to go up to Sam right now and talk about it, most likely he'd end up getting his head ripped off or something, but he also refused to let it go.

Sam considered himself a lost cause. There had to be more to that, not just because of demon blood. There were more pieces to this puzzle that Sam wasn't giving him and Dean desperately wanted to figure it out.

He didn't give a damn what Sam thought, had done, or anything in between. Sam would never be a lost cause to him and he didn't care what he had to do, he'd make sure that Sam knew and believed it.

After they got through this whole demon blood and whether or not Sam was going to stop using it.

On the sixth day, Dean saw Sam's phone that Ruby was trying to call him.

Mercilessly, Sam didn't answer the phone. Just tucked it into his pocket and avoided them all the more.

On the seventh day, Sam was in the bathroom most of the day, door firmly locked and blocked. They could hear him throwing up, even through the door it sounded more like liquid than food.

At some point their parents tried to break the door down but weren't able to, constantly being pushed away from the door. Apparently his powers came out in full force during withdrawal but he didn't have any control over it. It just came out in response to what he was feeling.

They tried to get him to eat but he refused to open the door, they left the food outside of the bathroom and it remained untouched.

Dean sat outside of the bathroom, listening to how Sam moaned in pain and the sound of his dry heaving. He hadn't eaten anything in two days at this point and refused all food. At some point Dean heard the sink running and water being splashed and just hoped that Sam would drink some of it as well.

When the things in the hallway started to levitate into the air, Dean tried to talk to his brother. He wasn't sure if Sam heard him but the things fell back to the ground so...point for trying?

Sam didn't talk back to him, or their parents when they came up to try to coax him from the bathroom. At some point Bobby suggested breaking in and just dragging him down to his manmade dungeon and let him go through the rest of withdrawal there.

The worst part was that Mary looked like she considered it for a moment before shaking her head. John looked like he was a second away from punching Bobby in the face for the suggestion.

Dean had a feeling that it wasn't going to take long for John to snap and actually attack Bobby at some point. He's been getting more and more aggravated as well as short with the other man and it was only a matter of time before blood was shed one way or another.

At some point during the night Dean fell asleep, uncomfortable and still outside the bathroom in the hallway where he hadn't heard his brother for a while other than the occasional shuffle.

On the eight day, when they woke up, Sam was gone, his phone was on the kitchen table, and his car was missing.

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**124/366**

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**Short chapter but it got things done.**


	37. Chapter 37

They had no idea what to do. They didn't even have the slightest idea of where to even start to look for Sam. His parents and Bobby were all yelling at each other but he had slowly tuned them all out, trying to focus on what he should do.

At some point he just got up and grabbed his jacket and car keys, ignoring everyone else, and just left. Got into his car and onto the road back into town. He still wasn't familiar enough with the town to really be looking anywhere specific, but it was better than being back at the house listening to everyone argue.

He drove slowly through the town, trying to see a hint of his brother anywhere around. He didn't keep his hopes up but at the same time...he wasn't ready to let it go and just give up.

He stopped his car suddenly when he saw Sam's car parked right next to the park from yesterday. He immediately parked and got out, looking around wildly before he picked his brother out.

Sam was sitting on a bench, by himself thank fuck, hunched over on himself and staring at the ground. Swallowing hard Dean half jogged to him, stopping in front of his brother just staring down at him.

Sam didn't move, didn't even acknowledge that he was there. From his angle he could see that Sam's eyes were closed as well.

"You here to drag me back?" Sam finally asked, his voice low and rough.

"No." Dean said, finally just kneeling in front of his brother and looking up at him. It took Sam a moment but then slowly he brought his head up enough to open his eyes and look him in the eyes.

Sam's eyes were heavily red rimmed and had dark circles under them. Sam himself looked strung out and Dean could see that his entire body was shaking.

"What are you doing here Sam?" he asked in a quiet voice.

Sam just stared at him before answering. "Had to get away." he mumbled, closing his eyes and bowing his head again. "Didn't want to stay there anymore."

Dean nodded, moving enough to sit next to Sam on the bench, sitting as close as he could to him. "Did you talk to Ruby?"

Sam didn't answer and Dean wasn't sure how to take that.

"She was texting me and calling me." Sam finally said. "Telling me that she can get here in another day or two. That she can't wait to see me again. That she-" he stopped to take a deep breath. "That she wishes that it was like the way it was before. Just me and her together dealing with all this crap."

"You guys were together a lot?" Dean asked, keeping his voice steady and ignoring his phone vibrating in his pocket.

Sam nodded. "She's on the run from demons so we stayed together for protection. She was a witch in her human life so she knew all sorts of spellwork to keep us safe and well...it made it a lot easier for me to drink her blood if she was always there."

Dean nodded once more, putting the tidbit of, 'in her human life,' away to be asked later. "So what changed? Why'd you guys separate?"

"She got spooked after an encounter with angels." Sam told him. "She's a lower ranking demon and any angel could easily kill her. The more we ran into them, the more on edge she got until she decided to try her luck and run."

"And the other day when she called, she was talking about how much she missed it, missed us always being together." Sam continued, his head still bowed. "So she said we should get back together like that. Just me and her on the road."

"I told her no."

Dean couldn't deny the feeling of relief that shot through him at that. "So what'd she say to that?"

"She got upset, pissed off. Said a few things about us, about everything." Sam said. "Said that she can't keep risking coming back to Sioux Falls just to give me blood. So…"

Sam's hands went into his hair, entangling in the strands and gripping them tightly. "So I told her not to come at all then."

"She got even more mad. Talked about my powers, talked about everything, wanted to know what I was going to do to keep them going and everything else." he continued. "So I told her-" his voice broke off at that, shaking his head.

"Dean, I'm a mess. I can barely move a pencil like this let alone my knife." Sam pulled his hands out of his hair and in front of them, watching them shake. "I can't handle this."

"Yeah you can." Dean said, turning so that he could try his best to look Sam in the eyes. "Sam...you've decided on this. You've decided to not go to her. You decided not to call her here, demanding that she came back. You're...you've decided to kick off the whole demon blood."

He could hear Sam swallow hard. "I can't do this." he whispered.

"Yes you can." Dean told him firmly. He reached out and placed his hand on Sam's shoulder, feeling just how much his brother was shaking now. "Sam you've already gone this far, you're already in this much withdrawal, you should go through the rest because after that...you're pretty much in the clear."

Sam shook his head. "This is just the start, it's just the beginning." he muttered. "It's going to get a lot worse very fast."

"Then we'll deal." Dean said simply. "I'll be right there with you to help you and so will our parents."

"And Bobby will be there to throw me into the dungeon." Sam said with a snort.

"I think that if Bobby suggests that again then dad is going to punch him and not stop till the man stops talking nonsense." Dean told him. "Cause I'm sure that dads close to that point if he hadn't reached it while we're here."

It worked and Sam gave a small barely there smile, but it was there and it made Dean's heart just a bit lighter. He reached out and moved his hand so that he could wrap his arm around Sam's shoulders, bringing him closer to him.

"You know what I think?" Dean asked him rhetorically. "I don't think we should go back. I don't think it's a good idea to go through withdrawal there. I think we should go somewhere else, somewhere we won't be disrupted, and just...wait the withdrawal out. Let it pass and then go from there."

"I don't know how long it'll take." Sam mumbled, hand coming up to rub at his face.

"Well however long it'll take, that's how long we'll get through it." Dean told him. "If it takes a week, a month, or even a year. We'll get through it together Sammy, I'm not gonna leave your side."

He felt Sam shake at that once more, head bowing forward. Dean moved and half tucked Sam against his head and shoulder. He felt Sam's hand come up and clumsily grip at his jacket.

"You're going to get through this. We're going to get through this." Dean told him. "You can do this Sammy, I believe in you."

**I do not own Supernatural. **

**125/366**

**I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.**


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